Transmigrating Narcissus

1.08 - Heart. Beats. On.

"This song in my soul will live with you, darling." - Life's Melody

"Thank you, Kayla." Michel's electric blue eyes flare in triumph and his lips stretch into a mega-watt smile that could power cities for centuries. My heart pounds louder, and I'm heavy with guilt.

Alex suddenly crumbles to the ground, his knees giving out. Stella lets out an ear-piercing scream, her body paralyzed with fear.

"ALEX, ALEX, WAKE UP!" I rapidly shake Alex's shoulders, but his body flops lifelessly at my motions. Dread pools within me until it floods my veins and brain. I check for his pulse, but it's missing. "Someone, call an ambulance while I do CPR and find an AED! He's not responding!"

I go into lockdown mode. My only focus is on saving Alex. I lean over him and start administering compressions in the middle of his chest at a steady tempo, counting to thirty before tipping his head back with one hand and pinching his nose with the other, giving him two rescue breaths.

Push. Tilt. Breathe. Repeat. Thousands of memories flit through my mind in the whispers of butterfly wings. Alex and I living life together, intending for it to last forever. Smiling, dancing, singing, playing, enjoying it all. Loving. But where are we now? How much was real, how much was pretend?

Who.

Am.

I.

Really...

My vision of Alex becomes blurrier, his figure becoming distorted. Burning liquid flows down my face, and I welcome the pain. Yes, I can feel pain. I can feel guilt for my actions. I'm not heartless. Some part of me does care about Alex, a special place in my heart where Life's Melody will forever sing inside of me.

I feel a tugging on my shoulders, but I ignore it and continue to give CPR. Adrenaline pumps through me, but I wish that Alex's heart is pumping instead. The mumbling sounds increase around me, but I don't pay enough attention to the gibberish for it to form comprehensible words. A fabric is pushed into my face with a weird smell.

Wait, my body is numbing. Why can't I move? I need to save Alex. Darkness creeps from the edge of my vision, eating the image of Alex with his golden strands of hair and warrior heart. No, stop, I need to save him. I try to push against the darkness, but it continues to grow. NO, STOP! STOP! STOP! Only his blurry face is left. His dirty blonde hair disappears, then his pale cheeks, and all that's left of him is an unsmiling pair of lips. NO, DON'T LEAVE ME!

ALEX, ALeX, Aleeeeeeex, Al................................................................

My being plunges into darkness. I don't know when I resurface in my mind's void. Time holds no meaning, and I am empty.

You have me, darling.

Alex, is that you?

No, Earthling, it's me, Oldie.

I misheard his voice as Alex's, and disappointment rises within me. I want Alex back. I want to say sorry to him.

I did a scan on the mission world to see what happened after he died.

He... Alex died? I'M A MURDERER! HOW CAN I GO BACK TO MY MISSIONS AFTER BETRAYING HIM? HOW - Calmness envelopes me.

Sigh, I had to stabilize your soul and mind before you hurt yourself.

Thank you, but I -. It still hurts, knowing that I betrayed him.

You will see him again.

Wh-what do you mean?

When Alex died, his last wish was to see you again and accompany you. He hoped that you might one day love him, but he is content to see you love another.