26/05/2019
I could feel it.
Mentally and physically.
The explosion.
It started with feelings.
Feelings I thought about literally until the sun rose.
Feelings I associated with the whether and the food.
Food from a family gathering.
Family including my mom who I just found out is dating her shitty ex in secret so the image of the perfect little princess doesn't go away, at least for everyone.
Everyone's words, and my own actually, about my apearence drive me back to food. Not only food, but wheight, body. My scar covered, bone showing body.
I dont want to look like a "drug addict" like my sister said. I also dont want to look like the elephant that I did.
So Now we're back at feelings.
Feelings.
Food.
Family.
Fear.
Words.
Feelings.
Boom.
I stand up saying I have to make a call but send a text to my sister letting her know I'm not coming back and walk out of the restaurant.
My chest is burning, I can't breathe.
I'm crying.
I'm walking, just walking I don't care where I end up.
A million thoughts pass through my mind.
There is so much pressure.
I have to vote.
My virginity.
I need to study for my history test.
The school.
The fights.
I saw him yesterday.
The girls.
I'm scared.
My dad.
My house.
I want to throw up.
The truth hurts.
I end up in a park behind my building and sit down on the floor near a bench so I could have some shade.
I was horribly sad, I was but I surpassed it.
I was happy again, I could feel it again, the happiness.
But then everything starting to go so fast.
It was school, it was the problems at school, it was my friends having problems, it was my dad yelling at me saying I can't help everybody and me yelling at him saying he doesn't understand.
We lost the new house and the clock is ticking and the chances of me going back to my mom's house are getting higher.
But once again he says it's not my problem and all I can do is watch my life slipping through my fingers.
And finally the truth I unconsciously denying was finally slapped onto my face.
And now here I am.
I'm happy, hurting and healing all at the same fucking time.
To be continued...
YOU ARE READING
Pieces of Me.
Non-FictionHi there, how are you? I hope you're okay. Like the title says, this book is made of pieces of me, sort of like a diary. Each chapter has its topic, message and feeling. I write it as my life goes on, pouring my heart out, mentioning a lot of the...
