11/08/2018
No, don't. We've been through this, you know you don't need it. You saw the results, you were able to lose weight without it, why are you putting yourself in this situation once again?
Because it gets to a point that it stops being just about the weight. It's like the way out everytime something bad happens, like it's going to change something.
But I only feel that I need to do it when for some reason I eat my feelings and then feel the regret and shame. Guilt consuming me. I try to think that it could have been worse, that I could have cut myself again but I only made myself throw up. But when I do it I only get closer and closer to doing it again.
I like to say that I'm over all that crap but only I know how untrue that is. It is still struggle.
Counting my breaths when I'm in a situation I don't want to be so there is no way I get a panic attack.
Trying not eat too much so I don't feel guilty afterwards, locking the kitchen door when I go to bed because I know if I have the need to eat I won't since I would wake my dad up unlocking the door.
Everytime that I cut myself accidentally, all those times I did it on porpose come to my mind, even just seeing something as simple as a knife is a trigger in sensitive days.
And now I realise, recovery is not a condition or the process of becoming well again.
Recovery is a daily struggle.
VOCÊ ESTÁ LENDO
Pieces of Me.
Não FicçãoHi there, how are you? I hope you're okay. Like the title says, this book is made of pieces of me, sort of like a diary. Each chapter has its topic, message and feeling. I write it as my life goes on, pouring my heart out, mentioning a lot of the...
