Dick: Just heard some girl say 'Daniel if I wanted to kill myself I would just climb up you ego and jump down to you IQ
Wally: DAMN DANIEL
She's savage
***
Wally: Let's go somewhere and judge people
Dick: I'm free around 7:00
***
Wally: You think you're sooo funny don't you?
Dick: I think I'm hilarious
I make myself laugh
***
Dick: I swear medication manufacturers have no FREAKING CLUE what fruit tastes like
***
Wally: ACK
Dick: ?
Wally: Save me
Dick: From??
Wally: I have to make a phone call
Dick: : /
***
Dick: Don't worry the spider is smaller than you
Wally: Yeah... So is a grenade
***
Wally: What do you call a person with a hearing impairment?
Dick: What?
Wally: WHAT DO YOU CALL A PERSON WITH A HEARING IMPAIRMENT?!?!?!?!?
***
Dick: What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality
Wally: BRUH
***
Wally: Hey Dick
Dick: ?
Wally: We don't fart on friends
Dick: Huh??
***
Wally: I think we should make it illegal to be mean to me.
Who's with me?
Dick: Not me
Wally: In my new world you would be put to death for such indiscretions
***
Dick: You know there's people who say I can't cook.
Wally: They obviously haven't had your famous cereal
***
Wally: Not having to bring my backpack to school on the last day of elementary school is honestly the last time I felt free
***
Dick: You are so busy blowing out bad vibes in every direction that we're all choking on you're second-hand smoke
Wally: Why do I recognize that?
***
Dick: When people go underwater in movies I like to hold my breath with them to see if i would survive that situation
Wally: Bet you almost died in Finding Nemo
***
Dick: Asparagus grows like it's trying to prank some idiot into thinking that's how asparagus grows
Wally: Damn you're right
***
Wally: So... Do you abuse drugs
Dick: Damn right I do.
I see a drug I punch the f*** out of drugs
Wally: Glad someone's doing it
***
Dick: What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
Wally: This is a notice that your friendship with Wally West has been terminated. Have a nice life.
***
Dick: 'I'm gonna wing it.' -me about something I definitely should not wing.
Wally" Oh my god it's becoming self aware
***
Wally: Can I ask you a question?
Dick: Sure
IDK I just have fast fingers I guess
Wally: How do you reply so fast?
WTF
***
Dick: Whatever you do today make sure you do it with the confidence of a 4 year old in a Superman costume
Wally: Uhhh okay
***
Dick: I would just like to announce that I have no idea what I'm doing
Wally: Thanks for the heads up
***
(Hey. Hope you enjoy the bonus chapter)
YOU ARE READING
Off Time
FanfictionDick: How many chefs do you think were wrongfully executed in the medieval times because the King's food taster had a food allergy?; Wally: These are the type of questions I live for
