Gotta Be You - Zarry

Chapter 3 - Checking Up

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*Harry’s POV*

            I collected all glass, vases, and anything else that would break or be taken if left out. I placed them under the sink and the cabinets, after which I made sure to lock. I filled bowls with chips and any snacks I could find that were good. I ran up stairs and picked out and outfit for tonight. Making sure that my clothes were semi-casual.

Jeans, but not ripped or worn out jeans, ones with good denim. Blazer or no blazer? No blazer, it’ll look like I’m trying too hard. And now the shirt, I looked through my closet. There are t-shirts. No. Plaid? No. Simple black shirt, YES! I guess I was being a stereotypical gay right now, getting all excited over clothes.

Ok shirt, pants, shoes! Supras? Possible... Do I have any that match? No. Well, I guess its converse for me.  I have perfect condition black converse somewhere in the back of my closet, I put them there ages ago, I hope they’re still okay to wear. How far back did I put them? I searched and searched trying to find it. Lets see... there? No. OH THERE THEY ARE!! Wait, no those are running sneakers. Fudge, where’d I put them?

Something blue caught my eye and I had to find out what it was. Ok its just over there- OW!! Dang that hurt a lot, stupid legos. Here it is, oh I remember this thing! It was my old journal from like third grade!! Let’s see what we have in here...

Haha, I was a funny kid back then, oh wait, I STILL AM!! Ooh I remember that class, it was horrible. EHMAGAWD I PUT PICTURES IN THIS THING! Aw I’m so cute! Then a familiar page caught my eye:

‘I told Jimmy that I had a crush on him today but he didn’t say what I wanted him to say. He didn’t say that he liked me back sadly, but the weird thing is- HE LIKES GIRLS!! Isn’t that weird? Well I told him that he was weird for liking girls and so do you know what he did? He made all the boys that like girls sign a paper that said “I like gurls and not boyz” (he was always bad at spelling). Do you know how many people signed that paper? 23 including Jimmy himself. Then I did a count and realized that there are only 24 boys in my class. I was the only one who didn’t sign it. From this day on I will try to like girls and not boys anymore. Wish me luck diary!     -Harry

I could still feel the dampness from the page from when I cried over how I was not normal compared to the other boys. And even though all the other boys forgot about that day, I never did. The memory of being the only one in my class with a different liking made me try to get switched out of switched out of it. But my mom tried and tried but there were simply too many people in each class for me to swap out. That’s when I began crying myself to sleep every night. I eventually stopped and began enjoying life again, until he came along and waltzed into my life.

You may have been wondering why I’m the school slut. That’s why. I always try to be with girls, but I never really fall in love with them or even remotely like them. They’re pretty and all, but it doesn’t take away the fact that I’m just not into girls like the other boys do. When I try to like them, I always end up only fooling them and not really fooling myself into believing that I could actually change that about myself.

But I never could, and I probably never will thanks to Zayn. He’ll always be my sweetheart even if he won’t love me back.

“I can’t make you love me when you don’t... You can’t make your heart feel something that it won’t...” Bonnie Raitt didn’t know how much that song would come into my life when my mom played it over and over every day before my parent’s divorce. Yes, she's remarried and happy but that song would be played every day before the divorce.