Laying Low

Prologue

Hello, diary.

It's been the third time this week I have written inside of this thing. But I have a lot to write about today.

First of all, since I turned 14 today, I have to take into consideration the fact that high school starts this year.

I'm scared.

What will transferring to a new school be like? What will this mean for my worthless, yet curious future? Will I get judged for everything I do? I am somewhat athletic, I assume. I run track and play very limited amounts of tennis. But otherwise, I spend most of my time in the library.

Oh, the library. The beautiful library. I was born to read. I love reading so much, that I am trying to write advanced words into my diary, so that way when I peer curiously into this diary again, I will see this vocabulary I used.

Fuck that 'dumb people' shit. I will not be a part of that. I will set my future right and everything will go as planned.

Or so...I think so.

Second of all, sometimes, back before middle school ended so precariously and slowly, I would look at boys, commonly. It wasn't really a bad thing, per se, but it did give me insight on what I did and didn't like to look at.

I'm so confused on who or what I like. There's some pretty sexy girls here, but they seem....fake. Like barbie dolls, almost.

But whenever I have the chance to talk to a girl, I so shyly, but yet so curiously, take it. It doesn't work out for me in the long run, but the evidence that I tried is what counts to me.

I remember one time when a new student that was in my grade moved into our town. Everyone who was in my grade had to meet her. They had plans. Evil, cunning, forceful, plans. And it's sick. Objectifying women is not right and should not be right in our generation.

We teenagers are in a point in our lives where yes, puberty fucks us up, but no, we should not take it to our advantage. Someone could get seriously injured, or worse, even.

Going out of topic into a new discussion, my parents do not allow me to cuss, so my diary is my safe place. So fuck you, world. I'm 14 now, I can do whatever the hell I want. But not fuck. I'll wait until I'm 16 for that.

That is the legal age for sex...right?

Oh fuck, I sound like those wannabe teenagers at my school now. Thanks a lot, y'all. It really means a lot. (Not really.)

Ok, now I'm just writing because I have nothing better to do. My parents have not returned home from their date yet, so it may be a bit.

My mom's name is Debby Connoway. I'm not sure why I've written that in here, because I know I've said her name before in here.

Anyway, she will turn 34 in December. It is currently October, close to Halloween. Scary time.

She works at a bank near my dad's workshop, which is about an hour and a half away from my house. That's very unfortunate in case I need them for anything, like an emergency.

She has had a recent problem with her back, and she will go to the doctor to get it examined tomorrow. I hope it's not too severe, I love my mommy.

She is also known for being outgoing. She loves to interact with people and connect with them and see how they relate. She has many friends and supporters.