The Hardest Part Of Living

The Hardest Part Of Living- Chapter 5

"Vicky! Your lifts here!" Mrs Smallberry called, most probably glad that I'm going. For the past month whilst there has been paper work and visiting sessions to make sure I was going to a safe home, I was harassing Mrs Smallberry and making her life a living hell. In the morning, I'd wake up extra early just so I could sneak to her and stare at her to creep her out. In all honesty, she thinks I'm possessed by the devil.

Was I excited about leaving here and going with the bender boys? Not really, no. It means I get to annoy them, test them. I could see how far they can go until they break and send me back, that sounds like fun. 

"Vicky!" She called out again and I grabbed my packed suitcase. I've gotten to know Frank and Gerard more over the past month. I feel more comfortable with them now. Gerard told me that I have an Uncle called Mikey, he also told me that my grandma Helena has passed away. I'm not that bitter, I wouldn't laugh or make any nasty remarks about the death of someone...I knew if someone did that to me, they wouldn't be standing.

"One second" I shouted out my bedroom, well, I suppose I could call it my old bedroom now. I'm finally leaving this place, funny how I didn't even want to leave. I kind of do now, see what it's like to have a family...Who are gay. I thought gay people were quite, feminine. I thought they was smug and posh but not these two. My stereotypical view of gay people has changed thanks to these two men. These guys were laid back, Frank explained his tattoo's to me and even said that if I wanted any piercings, any tattoo's, he'd let me get them. When I'm legal of course.

I dragged my tiny suitcase downstairs, Gerard was standing in the doorway smiling at me, his arms were crossed and his keys dangled from his fingers. He slightly gelled his hair today, it also surprised me that he wasn't wearing his sunglasses. Nine times out of ten, whenever I saw him he'd be wearing sunglasses, whether the weather was sunny or not.

"Today's the day" He smiled walking forwards and taking my suitcase. I sighed and nodded a little. "It's not that bad, don't worry"

"Where's your bum buddy?" I asked and he snorted quietly. He took my insults as little jokes which did quite annoy me. 

"Frank is at home, making food...That's a warning" He nudged me and I smiled a little, I have to admit, these guys did make me smile more. "Let's get you home. I think you'll like your room. Oh, we went clothes shopping for you as well. Don't worry, I helped Frank so they aren't all that bad" He chuckled and I gulped. He took my suitcase and walked to the car boot, placing it in there carefully. 

I didn't really need to say goodbye to anyone, they were all assholes to me, probably because I was a bitch to them. I suppose I could say goodbye to Mrs Smallberry for her years of looking after me and not going insane. She needed a medal for that really. 

She stepped out, shaking and smiling nervously. It was funny how she was scared of me, I had some good memories with her.

"Bye Mrs Smallberry!" I ran and hugged her quickly making her jump and gasp. I giggled quietly as she gave my back a small pat.

"G..Goodbye Vicky. Be good okay? Have a good life" She chuckled and I let go smiling at her wide. "Bye"

"I'll be seeing YOU soon" I winked and skipped out of this dump. Gerard sat in the car, smiling at me and waiting for me to get in so he can drive me away to my 'new' life. I sighed, it'd be the same. I'd cry, i'd be hurt and I'd just fake everything so I could take it out on others. I miss my family so much, I don't understand why they left me, why they left me alone to live on alone. Why would they do this to me? Why was I blaming them for their own death.

I wiped my eyes and walked to the car hopping in the passengers seat, I kept my head down and nodded a little. Gerard started driving, turning the volume down on the stereo.

"You okay?" He whispered and I nodded again. "Vicky, I promise you...It'll get better" He whispered about to place his hand on my own before I crossed my arms across my chest. It wouldn't get better, it'd get worse. I have to call these guys my family now...Like mine didn't even exist. It's like a toy, it breaks and you replace it with a new one. "We'll help you Vicky, we'll do all we can to help you" He whispered and I teared up. No one could help me, he couldn't and Frank couldn't. I'm broken and I'll be left that way.

I stared out the window, memories were coming back, images popped into my head, my old house.  My family, dead family. The police officers, ambulance, blood. I wiped my cheek which was now drowned in tears.

I tried living a good life, where I was the good graded, innocent girl. I wasn't a bitch to people, I was the kindest girl in school. What did I get from that? A dead family. Now I've reversed everything, now I'm a bad ass. Bad things happen to good people so now I'm bad, maybe i'll have a good life finally.