All The Memories That We Made [Completed]

The other Journal.

She shrugs, 'I don't get 'you', and that's not simple'.

I open my mouth to protest but she cuts me off, 'No. I can't understand, because I don't 'know'. How the hell can I? You've just showed me a journal filled with pretty memories. And you expect me to understand. The thing is Sarah, I don't understand 'you', so no, I can't get what you want me to know because you freaking don't tell me!'.

I stare at her in surprise for a couple of seconds. Her face is red and her chest is heaving up and down. I frown as I wonder why she would lose control like that. As far as I can tell, Ellie is a girl who is always relaxed, in control.

I open my mouth again but she's quicker. Raising a hand to silence me, she leans towards me a little, an odd expression on her face. 'You're lucky Sarah, You're lucky to have a Mother who loves you. Many people don't have Mothers like that. Yes, I get it. You have some problems that are bugging you, but you're forgetting. Some people don't 'have' Mothers'.

I can't take it anymore, reaching for another pillow, I throw it at her, using all my strength.

She does that 'Oww' thing and opens her mouth yet again. I'm quick this time. Grabbing another pillow, I throw it at her. She groans as it hits her on her shoulder. Rubbing the spot where I've hit her, she frowns at me, 'What the hell is wrong with you?'.

My voice is surprisingly calm as I say, 'I would ask you the same thing'.

She opens her mouth to protest but I cut her off. God, this is becoming annoying. 'You can't close that mouth for a moment?'.

She throws the pillows back at me, lightly though. With an angry expression on her face, she pushes her hair of out of her eyes.
'You're kidding me. You don't 'throw' pillows at people just because they are not listening!'.

I can't help but smirk at that. Shrugging I say in a tone I know she won't like, 'I throw pillows at people who act like babies, not to mention that you do act like one'.

She rolls her eyes, 'God Sarah, You're rude'.

I get up and go through my closet, searching for yet another journal. All the while, she watches me quietly. There is something about her stare. Her eyes are so blue that when she looks at you steadily, you're forced to break eye contract.

Banging my head on the side of the door, I groan and rub my head. A couple of books that I've practically shoved inside, fall out. I lean to pick them up, when I catch a glimpse of a black dairy. Heaving a sigh (I do that a lot) I pick it up and shove everything back inside.

Ellie shakes her head as I make my way back to her. With pity in her eyes, she comments, 'You don't ever clean up, do you?'.

I ignore her look and dump the dairy on the table.  It holds my other memories. Sitting down besides her, I pull the table closer towards us and then without a single word, I open the dairy and tell her to read.

..............................................................................................................................

Summer.

..............................................................................................................................

My life was fine. Okay, maybe not so fine. Once I heard a couple of my cousins say that I was ungrateful. It boiled my blood. Not because I was sensitive or hot tempered. I was neither of those. No, because they had no idea what they were talking about.

I came home that day, a sulky expression on my face, and when Mum asked me what was wrong, I told her that I didn't wanted to see those 'people' again. I suppose I did acted like a child who's spoiled and hard to manage. But after Mum found out exactly what happened, she explained it all to me, speaking in all soft voice. And the annoying thing is, I could feel my anger leaving me.

When she was done, she told me to try, just try one time and see for myself whether my cousins are nice or not. It wasn't so nice of them to say that stuff, was it? But yeah, I nodded like a good kid and promised that I won't create more trouble. And that I won't shout at people like that.

It all happened so fast. It felt so unfair.
A week before, I was a popular kid. Now, I was a nobody. My friends had left me and those who have stayed aren't really my favorites.

Nothing happened. There were no fights or incidents that might have become the cause of it. That made me so angry and even though I wouldn't confess in front of anyone, it hurts.

It  would hurt so much, you have no idea.

It was a torture to get ready for school. It's not a school anymore. It's hell.
People do always say that high schools are hard. Well, they are hard 'now'.

Would you believe it?

Even Sam wasn't as funny as he used to be.
These days I could tell that I was being boring, and sometimes I could almost hear him yawning, that explains that he was bored too.

I became a boring friend, someone who didn't even knew how to talk properly. But was I to blame? I did try. But I just couldn't joke about silly stuff when everyday, I felt horrible going to that school, when my friends have all left me.

Yeah, I became Sarah, who has one best friend and that's it. I wasn't not sure what to do. What I was supposed to do.

I became a confused mess. I no longer felt like I'm me. I felt like I've become a nobody.