Secrets

Sleepy

A.N. This chapter is a little short, I'm just trying to think about ideas as for chapters. I have small stuff in my head but I would like my chapters to be a little longer, so I need time to think about something that I would be able to write about with more words, if that makes sense.

Haru racked his brain, trying to think of any way to fix the situation that he was in. He was sitting next to Makoto, who was asleep in bed. Makoto looked peaceful as he slept, his arms curled up by his face. But even if he looked peaceful, Haru couldn't help but see the deep cuts on his forearms.

Haru spent his entire life trying to hide his emotions from the world and just recently has he begun to show Makoto how he truly felt. But it was such a habit of his that even now he was holding back his tears.

Haru got up, trying to be quiet as to not wake up Makoto. He made his way into the kitchen grabbing a cup and filling it with water. He began to walk back when he heard Makoto wail. He ran back into the bedroom, seeing Makoto sitting upright in the bed, his arms wrapped around his body.

"Mako, what's wrong, are you okay?" Haru asked, setting his water down on the nightstand before quickly placing his arms around Makoto.

Haru realized what he was doing and quickly let go of Makoto. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hug you without asking first." He rambled.

"P-please. Don't leave." Makoto whimpered. Haru knew this behavior.

"I'm right here, did you have a nightmare?" Haru used the softest voice he could.

Makoto nodded. "Y-you know...I'm not mad at you. Or-or scared of you."

Haru felt a huge weight being lifted from his shoulders. "You're not?"

"Of course not. All you did was scare me...it doesn't mean I'm scared of you." Makoto explained. He looked down at his lap. And then at his arms that were bandaged by his wrists, where the cuts were the deepest. "So can you-can you cuddle me again? Please?"

Haru felt his heart swell at those words and he nodded enthusiastically. Makoto scooted over, making room for Haru on the bed.

Haru wrapped his arms around Makoto, holding him close to his chest. Makoto left soft kisses on Haru's jaw and neck before he nuzzled his face into his neck.
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Haru woke up first around 3 pm after their nap. Makoto was still curled up in Haru's warm embrace and Haru felt so much better.

He thought that maybe he had destroyed their relationship and Makoto's trust that took so long to rebuild. But he felt like he could've passed out from happiness when Makoto asked him if he they could cuddle. He did still feel a little guilty about scaring him though. He knew that he shouldn't have lost his temper like that.

He made a mental note to call Nagisa and Rei and apologize for his behavior and explain that he isn't mad at them. But for the moment, all Haru felt like doing was caring for Makoto.

It had been quite a while, almost 5 months, since Makoto had last hurt himself and to say that it was scary for both of them was an understatement.

He did want to talk to Makoto and see if he wanted to go to therapy or something. He still has pretty frequent nightmares and is nervous around people a lot. And after seeing how Ren and Ran got better with therapy, maybe Makoto would too. All Haru knew was that Makoto deserved the opportunity to heal. Haru knew that no amount a therapy was going to make him forget about everything that happened and to get rid of the nightmares. But hopefully it would help Makoto cope with the memories. After all, Ren and Ran have gotten better but that doesn't stop them from having nightmares or panic attacks. All Haru wants is for Makoto to take care of himself better, just in case Haru wasn't able to care for him the way he needed.

Haru looked down at the sleeping boy, his eyelashes kissing his skin and soft snores leaving his mouth. Haru brushes a few strands of hair from Makoto's face before leaning down and placing a gentle kiss of his forehead. "You mean the world to me, Mako....and I would give anything for you to be happy." Haru said quietly, seeing as Makoto was asleep.

Haru jumped a little as Makoto's voice was heard. "I love you, Haru." His voice was raspy after sleeping for so long and his eyes closed as he let a smile cross his face.

"How about some ice cream?" Haru asked, assuming that Makoto was hungry. As if on cue, Makoto's stomach rumbled a little bit and he giggled.

"Ice cream sounds great."