magnanimous | umbrella academy

C H 13

WARNING: There will be torture, blood, and a panic attack. I would suggest skipping this chapter if you are uncomfortable with any of this. Thanks, stay healthy.

I am in a dark place. It is hot and closely packed. Am I back in the Dark Room? Did I do something bad? What did I do? Why did Reginald put me here?

I start to breath quickly; why can't I breath? My mouth is taped. I want, need to rip it off. I need to breath. I take my breaths through my nose, but it's not helping. 

My heart is hammering in my chest, I can hear it myself. Banging against my ribs, it hurts. Everything hurts; why won't it go away?

Tears are running down my face. Why am I here? I thought when Reginald died I was free from the Dark Room. Why am I back?

I continue with my fast paste of breaths, never getting enough oxygen in my lungs. I'm dying, I know I am. 

All of a sudden I feel movement next to me in this small space. I don't hear the movement, my heartbeat too loud in my ears, but I do see it. With tear soaked eyes and a fast racing heart, I glance over in the darkness, trying to figure out what was next to me.

Is it Death coming up to me? To take my life? Or is it a monster? Coming to rip me to pieces, till there is nothing left? I continue to sob, the duck tape muffling all of my cries. 

I begin to bang my head against the harsh carpet I am laying on. Stop thinking. Stop breathing. Stop everything. Just leave me alone. Let me die.

I hear whimpering next to me. Monsters or Death wouldn't whimper. No they'd take my life while laughing, not whimpering.

My heart is still beating fast, my heavy breaths coming through my nose. Everything comes back to me. The Academy, the hallway, the man, Klaus, my hesitation.

The whimpering mass next to me is Klaus. He had been taken, and so had I. 

I wanted to cry louder. Curse God, curse the pair that took us, curse whatever fucked up fate had brought, not only me here, but Klaus as well.

I try to steady my breathing, calm my heart, stop the pains in my chest. It all needs to stop. 

I run thoughts through my head, trying to think of something to focus on. To distract me from my panic attack that feels like its killing me. 

I think of my small plant on my windowsill; how the leaves would move slightly when I have the window open. I think of the garden my mom had, when I still was with her. I remember staring at the plants with such joy, her whispering the names of the flowers and their meanings.

"Look at this flower, Ester," My mom had said, pointing to a bunch of yellow flowers in her garden. I ran over to them with my small legs, crouching by them, but not touching.

"Pretty!" I had exclaimed. My mom had laughed at my innocence.

"They are pretty. These flowers are called primroses." She gestures to the flowers. 

"This type usually means youth, but between me and you, they make everything more happy."

I had giggled and babbled about how pretty the flowers were. I had been holding on to my mom as we watched the flowers, her softly talking to me.

"I love you, so much, Ester."

"Love you, Mommy!"

My breath had slowed, my sobs becoming quieter. My chest stopped hurting as much. I calm down. My panic attack had passed.