Lucas
The happiness in her eyes as she saw me killed me inside. It took all my strength to keep going as I walked away and sat into the car. I hated myself. The expression on her face when I told her that I didn't want her anymore has burned into my memory. The agonized look into her eyes. It broke my heart to break hers. I couldn't really believe that I couldn't see her ever again. It hurted so damn much I clenched my fists in my lap and for the first time I regreted being an Idol. Why couldn't I be just like any other boy having a girlfriend? Although I didn't want it I started crying as I looked out the car window and watched the buildings passing by in a blurr. When the car stopped I wiped away the tears, braced myself and got out of the car. I just wanted to be left alone and grief in peace. But of course fate wasn't that nice, shortly after I curled myself up in a blanket Ten stepped into the room and looked at me, his eyes furiously narrowed. "Have you lost your fucking mind?! What did you think breaking up with Yejin just like that?! How can you be such an asshole?!" I almost laughed, I was asking myself exact the same questions. Was this really necessary? Should I have tried it, no matter what? I looked at Ten with a cold expression: "None of your business!" Ten snorted and came closer. "It is my business because you just broke the heart of my best friend!" I flinched at that, it hurted enough not to be with her without Ten reminding me what I had done. As I didn't respond Ten gave me a disdainful gaze and left the room. Alone again I closed my eyes and saw her face right before me. I wanted to hold her in my arms again so bad, but I couldn't because I have to protect the other members. Jovana told me not to tell them why I left Yejin, she said they wouldn't understand.
Yejin
After Lucas had left me I stopped going to SM entertainment for my training lessons with Ten, which he gladly accepted without comment. He just started to visit me again so I could continue dancing. Except for the dancing I didn't allow me much free time, I always started to think when I had nothing to do and I wanted to avoid that really bad. So I buried myself in work to forget the pain. But of course it didn't really help. I mean it helped for a couple of hours but when I took a break, even if it were only seconds, the questions came back. Why? Why did he left me? What did I do? Why wasn't I good enough? At least this whole mess had one good thing: my studies improved a lot. In fact I got so good that I was allowed to make a semester abroad! At first I wasn't sure if I should do this because I really didn't care about what I did but Yun-Hee and Ten convinced me to do it and so I was preparing for a few months in Australia.
