Naruto | One Shots

Hashirama: Not Good Enough

• Female Reader
• Warring States Period Timeline
• Fluff/SFW
• Requested

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Y/n)'s P.O.V

"I received word this evening that your shiromuku is done and ready for tomorrow" the First Hokage's servant had informed me, with a polite smile, I responded to the man "thank you".

He bowed and took his leave, exiting the dining hall, leaving only me and one other alone together, my fiancé, Hashirama Senju himself.

I could hardly believe I was chosen by him to rule by his side, out of so many other capable girls of the village. My lips frowned slightly as I though about it more.

I wasn't like most girls in the village, who had been blessed with beautiful faces and a skinny body. Why am I so worked up about this..? Well, I was chubby.

I looked down at the food in front of me, poking at it with my fork, but I had no appetite to eat. I would feel bad if I wasted such an expensive cuisine, but my plump figure made me feel all the worse about myself.

"(Y/n)? What's the matter? You've barely touched your food" I raised my chin to look directly across the table to wear my fiancé sat, he dark eyes expressed worry for me.

"I'm okay, love. I'm... Just not hungry" I lied as I avoided any longer eye contact with him, I was unsure if Hashirama could tell I was foxing, but whether he did or not, he sighed and replied "I see, you're dismissed" he replied.

"Thank you" I thanked my fiancé, standing from my seat and slowly walked over to his side of the dining table, "Goodnight" I smiled as I leaned down and gave a short kiss on his lips.

"Goodnight, darling" Hashirama smiled before I took my leave and left the dining hall, walking along the corridors of the gargantuan Hokage's Residence, the halls in this building felt maze-like, twists and turns everywhere and I sometimes even felt myself become lost. But thankfully the servants were able to show me the way until I finally got used to where I was going.

I finally made it to the room Hashirama and I shared, although we shared the same room and bed, the two of us had not become intimate yet since we planned to save that for the wedding night to make it all the more special for the both of us.

I walked to the wardrobe and rummaged through the abnormally large quantity of clothing that was inside, since Hashirama and I's engagement, he had spoiled me so much. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world but I would admit he goes a little overboard sometimes.

I found a comfortable (f/c) jinbei to wear to bed, placing it on my side of the bed, I slowly pealed away my clothing from today, looking at my feet as it was stripped away, left in nothing but my undergarments.

But I couldn't tear my eyes away from my body, the body that I loathed more than anything else, the body that caused me so many years of insecurity and shame. I had tried to hard to eat less and exercise, but nothing would work.

My family would tell me that my weight didn't determine my value, and as much as I appreciated their kindness, mere words would do nothing to make me feel beautiful, let alone worthy of marrying the Hokage of the Hidden Leaf.

"I'm so fat... So ugly" I whispered to myself. Covering my mouth as I felt my lip begin to quiver, afraid of making a sound. But the tears could not be held back so easily.

*knock* *knock*

"(Y/n)?" I heard a call from the other side of the bedroom, "are you okay?" it was Hashirama. I gasped as I quickly slipped my jinbai over my head and wiped the tears from my face, hoping he wouldn't see them. "Yeah, I'm okay" I quickly replied.

The door freaked open as a small amount of light began to flood the room, Hashirama stood in the doorway before letting himself in, closing the door behind him as he walked towards the bed and sat down beside me.

"(Y/n), I know something is wrong" Hashirama replied as I slowly faced him, my head tilted down slightly as I didn't want to make complete eye contact.

"You've been crying again..." Hashirama replied as his thumb wiped the stray tear underneath my eye. I pursed my lips tightly as I looked away once again, ashamed to answer him.

"Is this about..." he trailed off, with slight hesitation, I nodded slightly. Hashirama was aware of my low self-esteem with my body, spent many nights crying into his arms about my insecurities.

"I just... I hate myself so much..." I let the tears fall as Hashirama held onto me tighter, allowing me to cry into his kimono. "I'm so fat, and ugly.... I'm so unworthy to be your fiancé, I wish... I wish I was born as someone skinnier and prettier..." I sniffled into his chest as he loosened his embrace.

"I'm not good enough for you, Hashirama..."

Hashirama was silent, the crickets in the night was all that could be heard from here, no voices from outside, no footsteps in the residence, nothing. And it was beginning to scare me a little.

"(Y/n)" Hashirama whispered as he gently grabbed my chin so I was forced to look into his dark yet clear and bright eyes. Leaning closer before his lips touched mine, soft against my own, loving and passionate, it was very different from the kisses we usually shared.

"I love you for you, so what if there are other women out there who are skinnier, who are taller, who have flawless skin, who have curves. I love you for who you are." He smiled, my eyes widened slightly at his kind words, but he wasn't done.

"Those woman out there may be perfect, but they can't say they are engaged to the Hokage, now can they?" He gave me a playful smile.

"Hashirama..." I whispered softly as he gently pushed me so I was lying on my back on the bed, his body lifted up over mine. Beautiful eyes gazed into mine.

"But mere words cannot express my love for you, but I can show you..." he told me, his hands rested over where the robe undoes. "I know we promised to save ourselves for our wedding night, but..." Hashirama trailed off, but I kissed his lips to confirm to him I was okay with it. "It's okay Hashirama, show me how much you love me" I whispered.

"Yes, my love" he smiled, slowly undoing the robes on my jinbai, "please... Be gentle" I whispered my concerns to him, he smiled softly in response.

"Of course, my dear. I love you, and I can't wait to see you walk down the aisle tomorrow, and to call you my wife..."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In case your not sure what some of the Japanese terms I used in this chapter are:

Shiromuku- A white Japanese kimono traditionally worn by a bride attending a Shinto-style wedding.

Jinbai- a traditional Japanese sleep-ware,
basically like pyjamas.