Chapter 19

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Author's Note: FINALLY!

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Chapter 19

Wyatt brings me home with a tear-streaked face, but the smile is on his lips like the whole world is in front of him, beautiful and divine. His hand, instead of reaching for the gear, grabs mine and he holds it tight like he doesn't want to let go. His eyes never leave the road, but I know somehow that his heart and his mind are somewhere else. Throughout the drive I catch him grinning, stealing glances to me, and licking his lower lip. My mind reels back to the time he confessed that he's always been gay, and that he has always liked me. I wasn't prepared for that confession, and it fucked me up in a good way. To say I'm not shocked and not happy would be a lie. Wyatt surprised me with that confession, and it feels really good. I also realized that he hasn't really had a good past. I knew he needed love and guidance, but I didn't know it was that bad. He acted on impulse and he was insecure. He lost his father, his rock, and he didn't know what to do. If my father died, I wouldn't know what I would feel.

All my high school life, I thought I was just his little playtime, like a toy.

But I didn't know he needed to be loved.

And that's hurting me now. I was being unknowingly selfish when I had so much love to offer, and never once in my school life did I show him one; that he deserved to be happy; that he didn't have to be so hurt and angry at the world because of his loss; that I was always there ready to hug him tight. If I knew what happened to him, knowing me, I would have comforted him even though he was being a total dick to me. Regardless of what he had done to me, what he had brought to me, I would do it in a heartbeat.

"What are you thinking?" Wyatt asks me as he turns left right around the corner. It's only three blocks away before we arrive at my house. He squeezes my hand.

"Just the time when we were in high school." I respond with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry I gave you such a bad memory," he tells me with a downcast look. I shake my head and squeeze his hand back. He halts to a stop and we just look at each other. "If I could just time travel, I'd undo everything I did to you. I hurt you emotionally, and I hurt a lot of people, even my mom, and it's bad. I shouldn't have done that. They didn't deserve the pain, the hurt."

"Neither did you," I tell him with so much sincerity that it almost comes out as a squeak. My heart aches for him. "Wyatt, you may have done a lot of bad things in the past, but here you are in front of me, pouring your heart out and saying sorry for your mistakes. You were a kid, and it was hard for you to handle things without your dad, and I know you miss him so much, but I just want to tell you that if he's watching you right now, he's proud because, I know, you have become a man he always wanted you to be. And that's enough for every father, knowing their daughter or son to become a better person."

"Why are you so good to me?" There are now tears streaming down his face, and what a sight it is to see. There's something good about seeing the person you like, or love, shows how vulnerable he is. Because it means trust. And Wyatt trusts me enough to show how he really feels. "You don't fucking deserve me. You're so pure, and I'm just a fucked up guy that has made your life a living hell. You don't deserve me. You really don't."

Without hesitating to say what I really think, I tell him, "No. The Wyatt in high school didn't, but the Wyatt in front me does. And I'm happy because he came to my life improved and better. A man, indeed." I chuckle.

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