I N F I N I T I || Kim Namjoon

1.8

With the light breeze that was brushing my hair past my face, there was no reason for the sweat that was lining my jaw to be there. I sighed, wiping the perspiration away with the back of my hand. The ground looked like it was moving from the spot that I was standing in, forcing me to shut my eyes as I tried to steady myself.

The source of my nervousness came strictly from my thoughts, which were preventing me from stepping into the ice cream shop that was in front of my face. My eyes were scanning the inside of the building, watching the group of happy boys at a table in the corner.

I found it strange that they all seemed to seclude themselves, almost as if they were in hiding. I figured that the thought was absurd though since they were doing a pretty crappy job at it, with the way they were pushing each other around.

I looked away as Jimin almost face planted onto the floor, the result of Yoongi shoving the boy after he tried to take a bite of his ice cream cone. My hand raised to cover my mouth, stifling a laugh.

I was surprised that none of them had seen me yet with the amount of time that I had spent standing in the same spot, earning strange glances from others as they entered the ice cream shop.

I caught a glimpse of Namjoon's smile as he turned his head slightly, facing the window for a slight second before turning away again. I took a step back, not sure if he'd seen me through the glass or not.

The one split second glance I'd managed to get nearly stole all the breath from my body, leaving me an even worse mess than I already was. I peered closer into the glass when I saw Jimin reach over across the table, snatching a phone off the table that clearly didn't belong to him.

No one seemed to notice as he easily went into it, typing away at the screen as the others continued to talk and play. I watched him for another ten seconds before my phone was going off in my pocket.

Already knowing it was him, I pulled my phone out and blinked down at my screen.

When are you going to stop staring and come in here?

My eyes widened as I looked up, locking eyes with the blonde headed boy. He was smirking at me, stealing a glance at Namjoon before looking back. His head tilted to the side as if gesturing for me to come in.

I quickly shook my head, stepping back again. His shoulders slumped, giving me a look that told me he was disappointed. I shrugged, trying not to let the hopelessness show in my face. I had been questioning myself ever since I had gotten to the place, growing more and more frightened as I let my thoughts run wild.

It was never a good thing when I allowed it to get this far, always preventing things that could have possibly turned out good for me from happening. There were so many things that I wanted to do but changed my mind because of my thoughts. I hated it, but it was a part of who I was, I didn't think that I could change it.

Jimin looked back down at Namjoon's phone. I looked back down at mine.

Why would you come here then?

I swallowed the air that was slowly drying up my throat, looking away from the messages. I couldn't help it, I wanted to, but I couldn't.

I didn't want to mess this up, not again. I'd been through this once, and I still have no clue what I did to mess that one up. Namjoon gives me feelings stronger than what I felt for him, but he was completely different from him.

I could tell that he wouldn't do to me what Taeyong did. I wasn't sure at the same time though, because I thought the same thing about him when I first met him.

I was scared.

My efforts to hide my emotions seemed to fail as Jimin slightly fell back in his seat, giving me sad eyes. They weren't begging me to come in, but they also weren't saying that I could go either. He could easily see the fear in my face, just as much as I could feel it pulsing through my body.