I N F I N I T I || Kim Namjoon

1.0

It was well into the night as my dad stood from the couch, walking over to the DVD player and taking out the disc. We watched four movies, working our way into the fifth as I handled our third bowl of popcorn in my lap.

My dad was struggling to stay conscious, probably only putting himself through this torture because I was wide awake. My eyes were broad as they stayed attached to the white letters floating up the screen.

I looked away from the screen as I heard a low howl sound emerge from my father, watching his shoulders elevate before they fell again. I casually ate the popcorn as he yawned, trying to grab the next movie that was on the table ahead of us.

When his half-lidded eyes finally opened enough for him to grab the movie, he slid it into the DVD player before heading back towards the couch.

"Don't you have work?" I asked, still eating the popcorn. The cooked kernels crunched between my teeth, my dad yawning loudly while nodding his head. I gave him a knowing look, setting down the buttered food and turning to him. "Then go to bed."

If there was one thing I knew about my dad, it was that he would always make time for me. His brain didn't seem to register when he'd had enough, even when his body did.

He was much laxer than he usually was, his hand rising slowly as he rubbed at his eyes. When he lowered his hand, it slapped against the couch, bobbing slightly as it ricocheted upwards.

I watched all his normally sharp movements turn sloppy in less than a second, stopping him short as he went to grab the remote.

"Dad, you need to sleep," I said, pulling my skin away from his. He shook his head, grabbing onto the remote anyway.

"But we need to finish the movie," his voice was heavy with much-needed sleep, his arm protruding outwards as he pressed play. I quickly grabbed the remote, pressing pause almost as quick as he pressed play.

Even the moment where he turned to look at me was delayed, the snap of his head reduced to snails paced neck swivel. I sighed, hiding the remote behind my back. "Bed, now."

He laughed, shaking his head. "Since when did you become the parent?"

"When you decided to stop listening," I shot back, giving him a smile so he knew I was joking. He rolls his eyes, this time not fighting it and stood from the couch. I grinned happily, giving him a little applause as he started to ascend the steps.

He looked back briefly, giving the room a once over. "Are you sure you're okay by yourself down here?"

With a scoff, I was looking back towards the tv. I grabbed the bowl of popcorn, shoving a few into my mouth. My dad stayed in his spot though, and I only knew because I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my neck.

I huffed, turning back around with a half-hearted lift of my lips. I gave a curt nod in his direction. "Dad, I'm fine. I promise."

That seemed to be enough for him, a little smile gracing his tired face before he walked upstairs. I watched him go, waiting until his shadow disappeared around the corner, my lips falling into a frown.

I was most definitely not okay.

Ever since my dad and I started this movie night, my mind had been elsewhere. I wouldn't have even known the movies we were watching if I couldn't see the cases lying on the table.

I felt bad kind of, for making my dad go through all of that just to make me happy when I wasn't even enjoying it. The paused movie stared at me as I became lost in my thoughts, unintentionally shoving handfuls of popcorn in my mouth.

He hadn't left my mind since I saw that text message. I didn't know if I should respond or not. Would a text back be disobeying my father? Or would it be the right thing to do?

Maybe he would catch onto the hint if I just didn't respond altogether; but I wanted to so bad. I wanted to tell him yes, say that I would be waiting wherever he told me to meet him because for some reason I was becoming infatuated with a man I only knew for two days.

But I wouldn't. Not with such a kind, loving father like the one I have. We have too much love for each other, and I have too much respect for him to do something like that. I have wants, but it always came down to what my parents wanted.

Always.

What a lousy daughter I am. I can't even appreciate something small that my dad does for me. I take advantage of it by thinking about me the whole time instead of enjoying it with him. I could feel the guilt building in my stomach, making me groan as set the popcorn back down.

Suddenly upset, I felt that it was time for me to get some sleep. I shut off the tv before I left the pitch black living room, jogging up the stairs. My bedroom door was still open, no light coming from there either.

I walked in, not even bothering to turn on any lights as I bee lined for my bed, plopping onto it once my calves hit the edge. My eyes were shut tight, trying to wish away this second sucky day in a row. Maybe tomorrow – or today, depending on the time – would be better.

I willed my mind to drift away, soaking in the darkness from the room when something buzzed from under my stomach. I jolted, not even realizing that I'd laid on anything. I flipped onto my back, watching as my phone illuminated the white of my ceiling.

I grabbed a hold of it, squinting my eyes as they adjusted to the light. It was only a notification from my Twitter, talking about recent tweets from people earlier in the day. I instinctively unlocked my phone, coming face to face with the text message that I was avoiding at the lighter hours of the day.

I froze, reading and rereading the text until I knew it like the back of my hand. My screen dimmed as I stared, my thumb shooting out to light the screen back up.

Maybe he would catch onto the hint if I just didn't respond altogether; but I wanted to so bad.

So bad.

My chest lurched as I followed my heart.

And we would do what exactly?

The message was sent before I had a chance to think about it. It felt like I had just run a mile long marathon, but in truth, I had only sent one text message to someone who was probably being much more calm about the situation.

I watched my phone, waiting for it to bing! There was none.

I don't know what I was expecting. At God knows what time of hour I'm texting him, finally texting him back after ignoring him for hours.

It didn't stop the bubbling I felt form in my stomach, an emotion brewing that I couldn't quite place. My nose flared a bit, feeling the ridges of the phone in my hand as I squeezed it a little tighter than necessary. I gave it one last chance, waiting as long as I would allow myself before setting my phone down, turning onto my side again in the – once again – pitch black room. I sighed, shaking my head as I tried to go to sleep.

:::

I made this chapter four days ago and I'm just now posting it lol.
School's a pain in the ass :)