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Are you alive?

I sent the text from my phone, placing it down next to me on my bed. I looked towards my bedroom door, letting my mind run away as I thought about the events from earlier today.

Namjoon seemed like a really nice guy, but I didn't really know him all that well. I figured me going to see him again would be a good reason to solve that dilemma, but there was still a lingering doubt in my mind.

His hair was the one thing that kept coming back to me, I wasn't sure why though. It just seemed to represent him, make him different from everybody else. It felt like there was a lot about him that set him aside from others, but I just didn't know them yet.

I started to wonder what he was doing at the moment. If he had gone home, he was probably getting ready for bed. I glanced outside, seeing the purple sky as it faded to black. It made me think of him, a little smile hitting my face. 

I couldn't believe that just from meeting him once, he was already the only thing on my mind. He managed to invade my thoughts every two seconds and it was only me to blame. I fell for people so easily, and just from one conversation and a quick glance at his face, I felt like he was going to be someone that could be in my life for a long time. I just hoped I was right.

My phone buzzed from beside me, I picked it up as I checked the screen. It was a text from Emerson, asking how I was doing. I unlocked my phone and responded to the text.

You good?

Yeah, just boy troubles.

I stared at my phone for a few seconds after I sent the message, not having enough time to put my phone down before it was buzzing again, this time with a phone call. Emerson's name was on top, a picture of us from a couple months ago lighting the screen.

I answered the call, pressing the phone to my ear. "Hey,"

"You're back on the market?" Was the first thing she said, making me roll my eyes. I hummed in affirmation, laying back on my bed. I hadn't had any man in my life since my Junior year of high school, not finding any guys worthy of giving my heart to. "Never thought that would happen after Taeyong."

A sigh left my mouth as my eyes closed. I didn't want to think of him right now, he was the lease of my worries. There were never really any good guys around when I was in school, he was just another example to prove my point. After high school, I never really met any other guys... until today.

"Don't even bring him up," I groaned, falling back onto the bed. I hadn't thought about Tae since the end of my senior year when he made it very clear that he didn't want to have anything to do with our relationship. "He's a thing of the past."

"But it seems like you've held a grudge for a pretty long time," She muttered into the phone. I scoffed, I have not held a grudge, I just decided that I didn't want to make the same mistake twice. "I haven't seen or heard about any other guy until today, which has been about three years right?"

"Something like that," I grumbled, but deep down I knew she was right. It had been three years, closing in on four in a few months. I took a deep breath, not wanting to talk about this anymore. I had chosen to forget the moment a long time ago, and I wasn't in the mood to bring it back up.

"Do you want to know about him?" I asked, choosing to talk about someone else. He was of much more interest to me. I could practically hear her nodding through the phone, even though she didn't say anything.

"Well, he's very handsome. Nice eyes, sharp jaw. He has really pretty hair, Lilac," I started off with the small facts. "Mhm," She said, showing that she was paying attention. I kept going on about how he made his own music and was rapping with someone else in a song that he showed me. 

I had gotten lost describing the small encounter that we had, probably exaggerating just a little bit. I couldn't tell though, I was just telling her everything that I had felt. I always told Emerson everything, it didn't matter what the case was.

I'd been friends with Emerson since sixth grade, we've been inseparable ever since we met. It wasn't a shocker that she had taken such an interest in my love life since she already had one of her own and claimed to be worried since I never had anyone to "show me the loving" as she put it.

"He sounds familiar," She said once I'd finished, making me furrow my eyebrows. There was no way she could have met him, I mean we were in two completely different countries. "But if I saw someone like that I'd definitely remember it."

I laughed, knowing that she was telling the truth. 

"He wants to meet me again tomorrow in the same place," I said, looking over at the sheets under me. The butterflies that I felt every time I thought about it started to come back. "But I don't know if I should."

For a few seconds, I thought that the call had dropped since she didn't say anything. I was about to say something again when her voice came through, quieter this time. 

"Don't you have your doubts?" She asked. I could tell she was concerned about me, I could picture in the back of my mind how she would be sitting on her bed, biting her nail as she waited for a response.

I sighed. "Why do you think I'm so reluctant?" 

I was hoping that Emerson's answer wasn't anything like my dads. I didn't want to have to stress myself out by trying to decide what to do, but I knew Emerson would think of every possibility to the situation, unlike me, who would probably leave out the most important.

"Well from the way you were talking about him, you seem to really like him..." She started. I stayed silent, taking in every word that she was saying, preparing myself for the rest. "I personally think that you should do it. But be safe! Bring your pepper spray."

I chuckled at her, nodding my head. "Okay, if he tries anything I'll spray the shit out of him." She laughed along, calming me down some. She always knew what would relax me, which is why I always came to her with my problems.

"I gotta go Infiniti, but remember what I told you," She said. I glanced back out of my window, realizing that now it was completely dark outside, the sun setting under the trees. It must have been pretty late, so I knew why she was going so soon.

"Of course. Love you Em," I sat up on my bed finally, hanging up the phone after she responded.  I threw my phone, groaning as I stretched my back. 

I guess I'm doing this then.

I N F I N I T I || Kim NamjoonRead this story for FREE!