Flipped (L.T.)

Chapter 28: Shameful Admittance

PLEASE READ AUTHORS NOTE:)

------------------------------------------------------------

"Louis, wait.." I recognize the soft voice anywhere. Her small hand curls around my own and I cease my movements. I wish I could feel the softness of her palms but its blocked by the bandages.

Why do I feel the need to clutch her hand in mine. Since when did I become so needy of her touch? I'm sickened by my own desperation to feel her; what good would that do but tease me further. And even knowing this, why cant I take it away and storm off? Because I am just that desperate.

She gently coaxes me back, pulling me by my hand to the tables. She gestures for me to sit down and I oblige.

"Your hand.." She says, turning it over. "Its bleeding through." She lets go long enough to grab the new bandages and gauze that she needs, also sitting aside some antibiotics. Eliza clips off the old wrap and tares away the dirty cover.

It looks like my cuts reopened. I must've been putting too much pressure on my hands. With much care, Eliza gently takes my hand and wipes away the excess blood. She tares open a little packet of medicine and warns me before she applies it. It stings, but I bite my lip to suppress the pain.

"You alright?" She asks. I nod, not trusting my voice. I don't know what to say to her. I was just ranting in my head on how she ignores me and now shes nursing my hand, being attentive to every cut. She was supposed to be helping Wesley and I cant help the satisfaction that rises knowing that she chose me instead.

"We need to talk.." She says low enough just for me to hear. "Try to linger in the locker room for a bit then meet me by the hedge."

I don't respond. I just sit there while she wraps my hand. She wants to talk? About what happened maybe? Where was this attitude when I was ready to.

"Please." She adds, looking up at me with those coppery eyes. Even now, I'm spellbound by her gaze.

"Fine." I huff.

Eliza closes her eyes, relieved. "Okay." She doesn't look half as confident as she did saying it. Eliza must be just as nervous as I am right now.

I push myself off and exit without another word. What could she have to say? She was reluctant to even admit it happened yesterday; what changed her mind? Was it guilt? Pity? Maybe even regret?

I don't want to overthink this but my mind cant stop reeling with possibilities. The building hope that comes with Eliza begging for my forgiveness and asking to start a new is painful and exhilarating. I should've learned by now to expect the opposite of what I wish with Eliza but the foolish part of me won't led up. If theres a chance, then it'll take over reason and take me under.

But what if it does end wrong. What if its only Eliza swearing me to secrecy and totally cutting me off after that. What am I supposed to do then, just fuck Marilyn and shag any other girl who's willing so I can forget this too? I'd hate to become such a womanizer but I cant ruin my life drinking or smoke pot. I rather have various partners than lose my lungs and liver.

Thats not who I am though. I don't want my sisters to look at me and think thats how they're meant to be treated by some man. I'll be damned! But then what would I be left with if I couldn't have the simple affections of a woman; footy? I need more than that. I didn't think so before but after her, the desire will always be there. And if I cant have the real thing, I'll find substitutes in the mean time. I just won't bring them home.

I'm changed out of my jersey, into civilian clothes. Coach called practice to close early due to Wesley's injury and because it was near the end anyway. I took a little longer than the other lads to make sure I'd be one of the last ones left. When I finally leave the locker room, its nearly vacant outside except for some trainers putting away the tent. They sure do work quickly. I head over to the hedge as Eliza instructed and wait patiently for her to show.