billies girl

packing and portland

billie and blue play music together behind me as i shove my shit into my old fucked up elmo backpack from when i was like 7. i got it from a nice old woman who visited my foster home.

blue and billie start to sing ocean eyes which makes me smile wide, but she stops "aye wait stop" she says standing up from the bed, "i got new shit for you." she disappears behind the door for a few minutes returning with a big gucci backpack, the one with the bee on the back

"bil" i start "im not taking that, that's way too much money"

"aye, nah shut up," she says offering it out to me

i take it hesitantly "when i get cash im paying you back for all this shit, the ring, the bag, the necklace"

"first off, we switched necklaces." she says drawing mine out from underneath her hoodie "secondly i got money to blow, why not spend it on you? especially if its something you very clearly need"

"aye shut up my backpack has feelings" i grin tapping her nose "but thank you. i appreciate you."

"i appreciate you" blue blurts "two claps on two" he continues clapping twice

"the fuck" ana questions

"sorry, i went to this middle school once that had some catchy ass chants" he smirks quickly returning to strumming his guitar strumming the guitar

"mood."

billie unpacks my clothes folding them prettily and placing them into the bag. "there" she smiles softly she the photo of kahlani and places it very carefully into the bag. "ready when you are."

i look to billie then blue ana who wear frowns on the bed. "bye" i smile weakly offering a hug. they both run into me hugging me strongly. we all cry again and i kinda hate myself for leaving them. they both tell me its okay, that they are proud, that they love me. i pull away from them holding back tears, i should be happy.

they all walk me to the door sending me and billie away. baddie surprisingly waits by billies car "hey girl." she smirks

"yo." i say smiling down at her "im uh, headed to portland" i laugh

"yeah?" she asks

"yeah."

"ight les go" baddie meows hopping into the front seat

"baddie," i say sternly "you gotta stay. blue."

"sweetie." she says "you still think im real?"

"huh?"

"im a figment of your imagination or whatever. your crackhead self created someone to vent to."

"but they talk to you too."

"nah, you imagine that too. dumb whore."

"so they think im crazy, talking to an invisible cat."

"do i have to explain everything for you?" she groans "every conversation we have is all in your head, you created me cause you hate being left to your own mind, you are scared of being abandoned, you physically cannot be alone. you will fucking explode into a ball of uncontrollable sadness. i was a real cat, you just created a talking lesbian baddie so you will never ever be alone."

"wow, im mental" i laugh awkwardly

"uh huh," she smirks

"y/n?" billie snaps her fingers in front of my face "baby you good?"

i snap back to reality "sorry. yes im okay"

"good, cutie." she pauses turning the car on "you ever fly on a plane before?"

"i have" i smile looking over to her, she was effortlessly beautiful and personally i hated her for that. i dont understand why god gave one person all the worlds beauty leaving the rest of us to look like rats 

bil bil siwa