billies girl

i have to

that night i call again, and once again she doesn't answer. its a wave of emotion, mostly insane and unnecessary thoughts but in the moment feel so real and important. it makes me think i'm being abandoned or that i'm never going to see her again, entirety irrational.

once the voicemail beeps i speak quickly and quietly into the phone, trying to get as much of the story in as i possibly can. "one of the girls in here broke my phone so i wont be able to text you. i miss you. so much." i pause "it might be insane but honestly i've been thinking about sneaking out to come and see you. it probably wont happen, i'm not ballsy enough, but hey you never know. anyways i was just calling to let you know that i wont be texting, and that i love you. bye."

it was irrational and insane but it was now stuck in my head. i was going to sneak out to go and see her. that morning mrs mayfield gushed about this amazing trip she was going to take with the family, explaining all the places she was going to see, and explaining to us how things would be going while she was gone. the eldest in the house would be watching us, making sure everything stayed in order. mayfield would be gone for a week, hopefully enough time to make it to and from where ever billie would be but if not its not like i have much to lose.

she leaves in two days, enough time to create a plan and hopefully get blue to come with me. we need either two round trip tickets or a car as well as some cash for gas and food.

-

after the phone call i silently find my way back to my room, softly shaking blue awake, "dude hey wake up"

finally his eyes blink open "fuck bro. what?' he asks, trying to fully wake up.

"i need help." i whisper.

"shit better be important enough to justify you waking me up." he grumbled.

"we are going on an adventure to surprise billie at her concert while mrs mayfield goes on that stupid trip. yayy" i smirk "and i know that sounds crazy but like how fun would it be?"

"y/n no. cmon don't be crazy." He sighs waving me up to come lay with him "we would get killed if we got caught."

"we won't get caught," I say, crawling up the latter and managing to fit next to him, the worry in his voice starting to make me question the logic of the trip.

"you fucking crackhead yes you will. you know how the system works, youre already in enough shit here you dont need to be put in some mental ward or put on probation. if you get caught theres no saying exactly what they would do. you dont need to be risking this shit." he looks at me with a frown "i know this seems important now but it wont be later. dont risk everything for some girl, youre smarter than that."

"shes not just some girl, blue. this definitely sounds stupid as fuck but I think she may be my soul mate, and this whole her not answering my calls shit has me really fucked up. its like my brain is telling me that she either is ignoring me or that ive lost her and i just need to fucking see her dude." my eyes start to water "i just need to see her... okay? I have to. you dont have to come you dont have to risk it. but i have to."

he pulls me closer to him and hugs me tightly "I know, its okay love." he exhales "I just don't want you to fuck yourself over here."

"I know what im getting myself into, but blue... I don't think I can wait, I think if I wait I won't be able to see her ever again. i mean realistically once they put me out this place I won't have a new foster home to go to, and billie probably won't be there to offer me a place to stay so they can find a home in LA so they will just fly me off to the first open one they find. i know im being fucking crazy but i need to see her just in case this is the last chance i have.

"so you're going..?" he sighs resting his chin ontop of my head

I nod "yeah man."

"am i still invited?" he questions

"you dont have to blue. you said you didnt wanna risk it."

"and you said we wont get caught." he grins.

I scrunch up my nose "we won't get caught." i look up at him "now we just gotta figure out how we are going to get there"