billies girl

not doing this shit by myself

billie 

i text hoping that she's up 

yeah? 

can you be in l.a. tonight? 

i have a show? what time?

what time does that end?

11 and the plain ride would be an hour. why?

my mom wants to meet me and i really really dont want to go alone. 

where we meeting? 

melrose at 1.

a.m.?

yeah is that okay? 

can it wait ?

no i dont think so..

okay, ill be there. 

i love you so much, oml. 

i love you too. 

i let my mom know where to meet and when she agrees and im not sure how to feel about the entire thing. i know im nervous, like the kind of nervous that hurts your stomach. it almost makes me wanna back out. why give her the room to hurt me again? talking to her again is giving her an open invitation to fuck me over again.

i get up making my bed and changing into a troye sivan bloom sweatshirt

"hey" blue peeps his voice sleepy

"mornin'" i smile up at him as he flops back onto his bed his arms stretching upwards

"sleep well?" he asks

"decent."

"good."

he climbs down from the bed his long length arms holding onto the latter weakly, he pulls on a new shirt, suggesting we match he wears a blue neighborhood shirt and his bloom socks troye sivans face pasted on the black ankle sock. we both find our way to the kitchen realizing that we are the only kids up. we stay quite getting ourselves some cheerios with chocolate milk

"have you heard from baddie?" i ask sipping my cold black coffee

"uh i have not, i thought she would have talked with you?"

"she has not" i admit

ana walks in rubbing her eyes "hey yall" she smiles weakly opening the fridge

"yo, heard from baddie?" blue asks sitting on the counter

"i actually have, she came to my window last night. shes gonna come by later today at like 1-ish?"

"cool" i smile sipping the coffee "so i thought i should tell yall" i start

"oh no" ana jokes pulling a smoothie out of the fridge

"im going to go see my mom tonight." i smile weakly looking down to my coffee avoiding eye contact

"really?" blue asks

"uh huh. with billie."

"do you want us to go with you?"

"ill be okay."

"okay." ana smiles "when you leavin? ill stay up with you."

"ill leave at like 1ish"

"am?" she invites

"uh huh."

"ight bet."

i smile taking a spoonful of cereal