billies girl

this bitch

i slip out the window a little after one, after contemplating on what to wear for a hot minute there i decided on black skinny jeans rips at the knee and a lil xan t-shirt cause i gotta rep my bitches.

as im walking down the dark alleyway behind the house, i hear little feet run towards me, my heart starts to beat a little faster then it should, i look behind me to see a big white fluff ball practically skipping towards me

"hey mamaaaaaaw!" baddie shouts "guess who got mad bitches? MEEEE! HAAAAA!" she smirks

"fucking bitch scared the shit out of me" i shake my head as i keep walking

"what's your problem?" she asks picking up her speed so she can walk next to me

"nervous as shit" i hold out my hand showing her how shaky it was

"yikes girlie, calm down its gonna be so good, so fresh."

"bitch you aren't james charles shut the fuck up"

"aye, don't take your shit out on me shister" she cackles running through the alleyway

"sorry man you right" i sigh "what if she just wants money from me? the fuck will i do then"

"tell her to fuck off," she comments jumping onto a trash can

"i don't wanna be a bitch"

"so your bitch ass is gonna pay her? the fuck?"

"fuck i don't know dude" i look down to my phone looking at the text from billie that reads: here.

"i gotta run, angel."

"okay baby, ill run over tomorrow to see how you doing, okay?"

I nod as i start to run down the alley and into the busy streets of downtown LA navigating my way to melrose.

when i arrive billie sits at our original table, the one in the corner isolated from the rest of the cafe. she gets up running over to me, lifting me off the ground in a hug "my baby!" she smirks kissing me before setting me gently back down on the ground "you ready?" she asks her hand cascading down my arms to my hands, she holds them tightly leading me to the table where a vanilla bean frap awaits me per usual.

we sit down next to each other, i drape my legs over her thighs so im facing her "im nervous" i state playing the the ring on her finger

"don't be." she smiles lifting my face up to hers with one finger, she plants her lips against mine kissing me softly

"she's gonna hate me" i groan falling into her as i start to cry, she wraps her arms around me rocking us gently

"don't talk like that," she commands pulling away from me when she hears the bell ring meaning someone walked in

a short woman wearing a long black pantsuit walks in, she spots me and a smile spreads across her face "y/n?" she asks walking to the table

"mom?" i ask

"oh lord" she smiles breaking down into tears, i hug her tightly taking in her sweet smell, she smelled similar to tea with honey.

we both sit down her across from me, billie sits next to me silently, she grabs my hand looking over to me with a reassuring smile

"how have you been?" she asks folding her hands together and laying them on the table

"h-how have i been?" i ask my happiness turning to anger rather quickly "thats a dumb question." i roll my eyes "ive been pretty terrible "

"i-im sorry, love."

"dont call me that, you dont know me."

"im sorry." she frowns while billie lightly squeezes my hand telling me to calm down

"why did you call me here?" i ask sternly

"i made a mistake."

"i know you did"

"i came to ask if you'd forgive me?"

"because im 18? cause now you wont have to take care of me, right?"

"no! not at all, id do anything to take ca-"

i cut her off "you could have done that shit years ago. you left me, you left a 5-year-old baby on a stranger's cold doorstep at ungodly hours of the night. you have no idea the shit you put me through!" i pull up my bangs revealing the healing harry potter scar on my forehead "a month ago, mark davids hit me over the head with a lamp after throwing me down a flight of stairs and beating the living shit out of me." i pause "sexually assaulted, 3 years ago by foster brother and foster dad dean cartman and phil cartman then again at age 12 by my foster dads friend alex frank" i pause again pulling up my sleeves "started self-harming at 10 after hating myself so much because nobody loved me, nobody cared about me not even my own mother." i start to cry again "hundreds of foster homes later and i still dont have a mom and a dad." i look to billie who starts to cry as well "i have billie." i state "ana, blue, violet, that fucking cat. that's all the family i need." im standing now grabbing my coffee and billies hand

"y/n." my mom says sternly "you have a twin." she blurts hitting her fist against the table her face red with anger "i found her , shes with your father down in calabasis. she wants to meet you" she stands to shove a piece of paper at me "im sorry that i caused that shit, i truly just wanted you to be happy and safe find a family that could take care of you, i knew i wouldn't be able to give you the things you needed. im sorry. if you think it over and decide you want to have a relationship you know where to find me" her yells progressively turn into smaller more gentler words but they still hurt.

she leaves tears running down her cheeks. i fall into billies arms sobbing. i think i just broke my mother's heart, and though it should have felt good to get revenge it actually broke my heart as well.

"twin." billie whispers in shock

"twin," i whisper back my sobs making my voice crack half way through

"what are we going to do?" she asks

"find her."

she kisses my head holding me in a hug still i stopped crying, the other people in the shop all stare the room remaining dead silent 

(yoo why am i crying tf)