Mindless Short Stories

Church

Prince: *stands in front of a church* do we have to go Walter?
Walter: yes, you guys are going to sit yall black butts in that church and listen or I'm going to hurt y'all
Prince: wait Walt...why aren't you cussing at us!?
Ray: yeah what did we do!?
EJ: are you sick!?
Roc: omg something is wrong 😭
Prince: DONT GO INTO THE LIGHT WALT *grabs Walter * YOU WILL HEAL
Ray: *grabs Walter's head* HEAL
EJ: OMG OMG 😭 DONT LEAVE US WALT
Roc: *slaps EJ, grabs him , and shakes him* WE ARE GOING TO GET THRU THIS EJ
Walter: GET OFF OF ME *gets up* I'm not cussing cause it's rude to cuss at a church.
Prince: well it's rude to give us a heart attack, you hypocrite
Walter: how am I a hypocrite?
Prince: you cuss everyday and all day, then it hits Sunday, you want to act like you been hit with the tambourine of Praise, you hypocrite.
Ray: that's right. You say cuss words we didn't even know until we joined this group.
Walter: it isn't my fault that I want to act like a Saved Christian nowadays.
Prince: Christians curse too tho!
The Boys: MHM
Walter: name some Christians that curse
Prince: *starts counting on his fingers*Ray, Roc, EJ, Prod, You, Kenneth, Keisha,
Walter: that's enough
Prince: *counts on his fingers again* Bahja, Nique, Breaunna, Shamra, Lourdes
Ray: LOL her STDs ain't holy
Prince: Ray's Momma, Roc's Momma, EJ's momma, Momma Wander, My Grandma , My momma , Joel Osten, I heard Joel Osten cussing up a storm on a Praise Broadcast, he was talking bout hypocrites, should have watched that Walt
Walter: shut up, let's just get in here, cleanse our souls and get out
Prince: but I don't wanna go
Walter: Prince, I don't wanna do a lot of things, but I do them anyway, like take care of your old ass, but I still do that. You don't have to want to go in the church but you are about to. Come on *grabs prince's arm , pulls him and he sits on the ground*
Prince: NOPE
Walter: Big head, Fat lip, Bush Head, Grab em
*the boys grab Prince, takes him into the church, and ties him up on a pew with the boys belts*
Prince: *struggles*yall were my bros! THE MUTINY!
Ray: sorry, we just had to get you in here *sits in a pew with the other boys and watches the pastor preach*

5 Hours Later..

Pastor: I feel a demon in this room, his presence is strong. *he points at Prince and starts preaching*
Prince: *eyes roll to the back of his head, starts trying to break out the belts *
Pastor: *goes up to Prince* GET OUT OF THIS MAN DEMON, YOU ARE NOT WELCOME IN THE NAME OF JESUS , GET OUT
Prince: *stops and yells* NEVAAAAAAAA
Ray: *whispers to EJ* must be a vine demon
Pastor: GET OUT IN THE NAME OF JESUS, *gets holy water from his pocket and throws it on Prince* DEMONS BE GONE
Prince: *prince's body goes into the air,goes back down and his body is limp*
Pastor: *talks to the rest of the church* the demon is gone! *the church applauds and everyone gets up to go home*
EJ: *tries to wake Prince up* Prince wake up, Walt he isn't waking
Walter: *touches Prince's forehead* he's stone cold! Let's get him to the car and get him home.... Ray & Roc, put him in the car

Roc and Ray unties Prince from the pews, grabs him and gets him to the car, they couldn't fit him in the backseat and the trunk was full so they tied him to the roof,went home, and put him on the couch

Walter: he still isn't up?
EJ: yeah and he's blue in the face ... I'm worried Walt. He had a demon in him!
Walter: it's going to be fine
Ray; I hope Prince alright cause who would I be able to talk about food with when the Food Awards are on?
Roc: who's going to babysit when I'm away, getting hoes and making this money?!
EJ: who's going to cuss me out when I eat their food?
Ray: everyone in this damn room the fuck.
Roc:I wish you would eat my food, I would smack the dog shit outta you
EJ: ANYWAYS , I mean, life would be boring without Prince.
Ray: yeah, he brings life to MB
Roc: OMG LOOK!

*Prince starts to wake up and look around*
EJ: BRO *runs to Prince and looks at him* You alright?
Prince: who is this bro you speak of?
EJ: what do you mean? I'm your bro, EJ
Prince: EJ😳? I don't have a brother, I'm the only child
EJ: *gets up and runs to Ray and Roc* Guys, Prince doesn't remember us😥! He doesn't remember us at all, I knew we shouldn't have went to church today , especially since today was the debut of Prince's new favorite show
Ray: 😨 Prince doesn't remember us? My best friend... My brother
Roc: if he doesn't remember us, I'll be the new Prince, I'll start now, oh hell naw, he best to remember us *snaps in Z formation and rolls his neck*
Ray & EJ: .....no
EJ: let's go check on him 😞

*the boys goes into the living room to see Prince staring at his phone*
Ray: hey Prince
Prince: who's Prince? My name is Jacob 😌 hello,
Roc: NO, you're Prince,
Prince: I'm Jacob 😳
Roc: You're Prince 😒
Prince: I'm Jacob 😕
Roc: 😠 you're Prince!
Prince: I'm Jacob😐
Roc: YOUR PRINCE BITCH 😡 *slaps Prince and starts shaking him* COME BACKKKKKK
Prince:GET OFF OF ME YOU HEATHEN *pushs Roc off of him* you stink 😠
Roc; OMG guys prince is back 😊
Prince: what do you mean? My name isn't Prince, it's Jacob
Roc: you are so difficult, I see why you graduated High School, you were so difficult, they said "fuck it" and gave you a piece of paper that said you can't go back there *leaves house*
Prince : .... Oh...Kay... But be back later guys, I gotta change this ridiculous outfit , who wear Blue with Purple? 😷 disgusting
Ray: but that's your favorite outfit 😱
Prince: OMG, my life is so messed up *goes upstairs to change his clothes*
Ray: WE LOST HIM OMG MY BROTHER! MY BESTFRIEND😭
EJ: MY BROTHER! MY ABUSER😭
*Ray and EJ starts crying on the couch and Prince comes into the house through the front door*
Prince: Hey guys *goes into the kitchen*
Ray & Ej: hey Prince 😭😭 *stops crying and looks at each other* Prince?! *they get up and runs into the kitchen to see Prince making a sandwich*
EJ: BUT I THOUGHT
Ray: WE THOUGHT
EJ: DEMONS
Ray: HOLY WATER WHA
Prince: what are y'all dumbasses talking about?
Ray: WE WENT TO CHURCH AND YOU HAD AN EXORCISM! WE BROUGHT YOU BACK HOME AND YOU DIDNT REMEMBER ANYTHING!
Prince: oh, you must mean my stunt double
Ray & EJ: STUNT DOUBLE!?
Prince: yeah, I didn't want to go to that church, so I sent my stunt double
EJ: I should kill you , we thought you didn't remember us , we were sad
Prince: awwwwww......yall so emotional ..... y'all some bitches
Ray: YOU A BITCH
Prince: NO YOU A BITCH WITH YA FLAT FACE
Ray: THATS WHY YO STUNT DOUBLE IN YO ROOM, TRYING ON YO CLOTHES
Prince: IMMA KILL HIM YET *grabs butterknife and tries to run upstairs *
EJ: *runs into the living room and yells* CODE RED CODE RED, AFRO ON THE LOOSE
Roc: *runs and tackles Prince*