Mindless Short Stories

Awesomeness TV Ep. 2- Church

Roc: Wassup Y'all, this is Roc Royal and you are watching Awesomeness TV *smiles at the camera and pauses * ....
Camera Crew: ........
Roc: *still smiling * ......
Camera Crew: um. Mr. Royal...
Roc: sup?
Camera Crew: say your other line...
Roc: what line?
Camera Crew: your other line. Say your other line.
Roc: what other line?
Camera Crew: the line that states "and today I'm going to show you what we do on the days we go to church"
Roc: *thinks* OH, see what had happened was, I was practicing my lines on the toliet, I was taking a shit and Ray wanted to act childish and not go to the corner store and get some tissue. I'm like "um Ray, can you please hand a nigga some toliet paper, it stank in here" he said some "nigga you got legs" like bitch. You the one with the monkey toes, why can't you run to the store for me. He was being petty, so I had to rip some of my script and wipe.
Camera Crew: ....
Roc: ....
Camera Crew: you could have just lied and said you forgot them....
Roc: ain't my fault you brought it.
Camera Crew: just continue with the show, please.
Roc: aw but fr TM, shit in the conjunction crazy on Sunday morning bruh. On hood. Let's go see what Ray doing, follow me niggas

Roc & the camera crew goes to Ray's room & find Ray sleeping,

Roc: aye *hits ray* wake up *hits Ray again* ....HEY *smacks ray*
Ray: *wakes up* whaaaaaa
Roc: wake the fuck up, we gotta go to church
Ray: why? I was just there last week *tries to go back to sleep*
Roc: *punches Ray* on hood, you better wake up!
Ray: *falls off bed and yells in pain* WHY YOU DO THAT? You punched my balls into my stomach....how am I supposed to have kids now? Just cause you got trapped with a baby you don't want, don't mean I don't want kids ... Fuck
Roc: what ever nigga, get dressed bitch 😴
Ray: I would have gotten dressed if you didn't Basitia Bomb my ass... Shit *holds his chest* what the fuck is yo momma feeding you? Bricks?! Bitch.. Popeye armed ass bitch. Shit, it feels like Precious is running with a basket of chicken on my lungs, IM FINNA DIE, SHIT
Roc: *turns to the camera* let's go wake up Prince

* Roc and Camera Crew goes to Prince's room and finds him meditating*
Roc: aye blaxican Buddha, get ready, it's time for church
Prince: *continues to meditate* I don't wanna go, continue without me
Roc: but it's time for church....
Prince: *opens his eyes* buuuuut...I don't wanna go..
Roc: you have to go.
Prince: look here bitch, I'm not going to church. For 1, we're going to a black church. We won't leave that church until 3 days later , I have a dentist appointment tomorrow that I can't miss, bitch my teeth need whitening. 2, it's 6 fucking 30 in the damn AM , we are up at an ungodly hour. Shit, we're probably up before Jesus. I'm not leaving this house at 6 am. If I do go to church this early, I'm going to a white church, cause we start at 9 and end at 12, just in time to go to IHOP. I'm not fucking going. Walt ...fade me out. *gets back into meditating position *
Roc: you going to hell....I hope Walter comes at you with a perfectly crafted belt , made of the finest leather ever.
Prince: *looks at roc with slinted eyes* Keisha, Fade my black ass back in.... If Walter EVER had a belt and threatened to hit me, I would aKamiyamiya the black off his lips so hard that the ash from EJ's dick would evaporate. If anything, Walt would beat yo ass since you like having sex & making babies with animals. That's Beastiality, bitch. I hope you and yo little roach ass girlfriend go to the supermarket and run across an aisle full of bug killers. MATTER FACT, maybe for Christmas , I'll put a Raid bomb in her nest.
Roc: *mouth opens in shock* 😦.....
Prince: 😌
Roc: 😧...
Prince: don't keep yo mouth open like that , Desiree might fly in there.
Roc: *looks at the camera crew and motions to the door* um, sorry TM . Y'all shouldn't have seen that....Prince is just on his period, let's leave him alone, let's go check on EJ instead

Camera crew follows Roc , Roc opens the wrong door and sees Keisha & Walter fucking
Keisha: WALTER YES, CONJUNCTION THIS ASS, BANG BANG BANG MY ASS TO THE BRIGHTSIDE, GO ALL AROUND THE WORLD IN THE PUSSY , YES ROC MY ROYAL, YO LIL PRINCE ON 10 , MAKE MY PUSSY DO THE RAY RAY, FUCK ME SO HARD THAT I HAVE TO GET IT REPLACED LIKE EJ YAS
Roc: KEISHA, WALTER. THE FUCK?
Walter: *stops * oh, hey buddy? What you doing?
Roc: 😐 nothing, y'all?
Walter: oh nothing, just making music , ain't that right Keisha?
Keisha: yeah, it's for y'all new album called Sex Conversations. Care to join us in the music making ?
Roc: I'm good, but Keisha , why yo pussy stank? It smell like booty & hot wings, you need a baby wipe?
Keisha: LEAVE. NOW.
Roc: well shit, you didn't need to get an attitude dannnnnggg. That's why y'all music session suck & that's why Walter dick little. *leaves and closes the door*
Camera Crew: where EJ?
Roc: AW YEAH *opens the door next to Walter's & sees EJ tied up in a chair and Prod sitting on EJ's bed with a knife* PROD WTF
Prod: don't "Prod" me, *puts knife to EJ's neck* he didn't buy my mixtape