Mindless Short Stories

Funeral.

Minister: hello everyone, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Bahja Shamoni Rodriguez

Shamra: OH MY GAWD MY BABY

Minister: she lived a happy , short yet happy life

Shamra: NO NO NOOOOOO *weeps*

Minister: *looks at Shamra & rolls his eyes* ANYWAY , any questions or comments before we let the guest speaker read the eulogy?

Ray: *raises his hand*

Minister: yes young lady

Ray: I'm a man. I just have my hair flat ironed 😐

Minister: ......

Ray: ....

Minister: well , yes faggot , what's your question

Ray: 😑 I'm not going to let that get to me because I converted to peace-ism

Minister: I don't give a damn if you converted into a fucking pork steak , you wouldn't pop me tho

Ray: ANYWHORE , how did Bahja even die anyway?

EJ: her hair got caught into a ceiling fan ....

Ray: 😧

EJ: yeahhhhhh

Minister: anymore questions?

Bre: yeah , did she leave anything for us like money?

Prince: HAHAHAHAHA yo , she gone say "money" like Bahja was successful or something BITCH IM WEAKK

Shamra: *hits Prince* STOP you are in a church

Prince: and you gone end up in the hospital if you touch me one more time cause lady I got a momma *looks at Shamra up and down* make me make that fucking call

Shamra: I think you need you need to lose the attitude a little bit *stands up*

Prince: and I think you need a little more foot up yo ass *stands up*

Shamra: OH YOU THOUGHT

Prince: DONT TRY ME BITCH

Roc: PATRICIAAAA

Minister: EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP, everyone settle down , we will discuss her will after the guest speaker says the eulogy

Roc: I have a question Mr. Preacher Man

Minister: yes, the one with the fucked up hairline that looks like half of the McDonald's sign , how can I help ?

Roc: well , I brought this *holds Royal by his foot upside down* and it pooped , where is the nearest garbage can?

EJ: Bro you do know that's a baby right ?

Roc: yeah , it poops all the time like worst baby alive ever

EJ: ......

Roc: ......

EJ: keep the shitty baby ok?

Roc: but I don't want ittttt😩

EJ: KEEP THE FUNKY ASS BABY

Roc: *throws temper tantrum*

Minister: ohhhh kayy..I'm just going to let the guest speaker speak now , please welcome to the stage , PRINCETON FROM MINDLESS BEHAVIOR *claps*

Prince: *gets up from his chair & walks to the stage*

Ray: oh hell

Prince: Welcome friends , peers , fellow people who are waiting for the funeral to end so concession stand can open , I'm the guest speaker & shit , We are all here because SOMEBODY *looks at the casket* couldn't stay alive.