𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭

chapter seven

Houston, TX

officially.sade I'm gonna love you, like I'm gonna lose you...

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"Blair bear, I've missed you so much! And I'm sorry for dissing you after getting with Omar, I guess I fell too hard."

I apologized to Blair as we posted up against the back wall to some store in Modesto. To be honest, we were just driving until we felt the need to stop and take pictures. It honestly, feels so good to be back in Blair's presence. I haven't seen him in a month and now that I'm finally seeing him, I don't want to leave.

When he seen the news about Omar's cheating scandal(which is another thing I'm dealing with), he decided to call me just to make sure I was okay. I'm not and honestly I feel like I still need some closure but, my momma told me to ride this break up out and stay out of all the public rumors.

My manager, LA Reid, he told me to never say if something is true or false. He also told me to speak less and smile more, just respond with smiles or frowns. That's what I've been doing, even though I feel bad. I feel bad because my fans deserve to at least a little bit of the story or that I'm still breathing and okay.

"Are you okay?" Blair interrupts my train of thought and I just stare of him for a second. 

I never noticed how fine Blair is, until I started looking at him recently. Everytime I look at him now, I feel like I'm looking at someone who I'm in love with...

But, Blair? Nuh uh- there's no way I could be in love with him. He's my best friend for life. We've been friends for over five years and I haven't felt anything for him in over five years! None of this make sense, maybe if I just try to talk to him about it. He'll understand and help me get over it.

"Blair I think we should talk.." I say in a questioning tone. "About us."

Blair cocks his eyebrow and chuckles. "Why'd you say it like that? What, are you secretly in love with me or something?" He laughs and shakes his head looking at his phone.

I just look at him and hope that he realizes how deadass I am. Soon enough, he stops laughing and just glances at me with an apologetic look on his face. "Oh my mad."

"No it's fine.. It's just that, ever since I broke up with, you know you know who.."

"Omar?"

I shake my head. "Before him."

"Arin?" I nod my head slowly and look at the concrete again.

"Anyway, ever since I've gotten over Arin, I just can't love anyone else without being suspicious. I always have the constant thought of being hurt." As I explain myself to Blair he takes ahold of my hand and we interlock our fingers.

"I know you're still hurt Sade, I can see it in your face. Whenever you talk to another man, it's this fearful look on your face. The fear that you're gonna get hurt." Blair said practically reading my mind.

"I don't feel that when I'm with you." I say looking at Blair with soft eyes. "I feel protected and safe, I don't wanna lose that feeling again."

We come to a stop and Blair pulls me by waist, our stomachs getting close. "You don't have to worry about losing me ever again." A sharp breath went through my body as our faces got closer together. "I'm not gonna leave you anytime soon.." Blair whispered.

I smile softy and ask, "You promise?"

Blair nods his head. "I promise, Sade, I'll never leave you again."

"I love you so much Blair!" I wrap my arms around his neck and look down at his lips. The urge to kiss them came over me and that's what I did."

I kissed my best friend.

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I unlocked the door to my condo and walked in. A man sitting on the couch, made me drop my stuff including my phone.  When I realize who the person is on my sofa I storm into the livingroom and place my hand on my hips.

"Omar what the hell! How did you get into my house?" I ask with anger drawn in my voice.

"You need a better hiding spot for your spare key." Omar said standing up from his seat on the couch.

I snapped my head and gave an evil glare. "Get.Out. I told you I never wanted to see you again, why is that so hard to understand?" I rant stepping closer to him. "Why do men think they can't do whatever they want and say their gonna  make it better? They don't, they only make it worse!"

"Sade..."

"NO Omar! I'm sick of every man I've ever loved taking advantage of me and then they can just get away with it like nothi--" I feel a sharpness waver through my chest and grip the sides of my stomach adding pressure to it.

"Sade are you good?" Omar's faded voice makes my ears ring.

"I can't stand.." I cry out gasping for air.

Omar sweeps off of my feet, making sure to keep my head supported. I close my eyes and drift off into a deep world of darkness.