South Park Oneshots ~Requests Closed~

Girls are stupid and dumb, but not you - Eric Cartmen

Y/n) stared at the white ceiling above her bed. Having just moved from her home town to some small town in the middle of the Colorado mountains, was as she put it, "Absolutely FUCKING sucks!" Closing her (e/c) eyes, (y/n) rolled over so she lay face down on her (f/c) pillowcase. Sighing, she threw the covers over her head. There was a soft knocking on the other side of her blue door. "(Y/n)?" Rolling on her side, she faced her back toward the door. "What?" Hearing her mother sigh, (y/n) frowned slightly. "Sweetie, I know this move was hard for you. But, you can't lock yourself in your room. You can make new friends, Honey, I promise." (Y/n) bundled further into her covers. "What if I don't want to make new friends?" (Y/n) heard her mother come into her room. "Look (y/n). I know you didn't want to move. I know you would have rather stayed in (Town Name) with all your friends. But you can't always get what you want. You have to make sacrifices to become a better person. So you are going to get up and get dressed. And you are going to go outside so you can make so god forsaken friends!" (Y/n) felt her (f/c) covers get torn off her. She curled up tighter as her once warm body was met with the frigid winter air of Colorado. Turning to her mother, (y/n) frowned. Stepping off her bed she watched her mother walk out of her room. (Y/n) sighed as she pulled out her (2nd f/c) jacket and black pants out of her dresser. She slipped her (f/c) shoes on along with her matching gloves. She walked down the steps seeing her brother watching TV. Dave turned his head to look at (y/n). "Hey there." He nodded in her direction before he turned his white blonde head back toward the TV. (Y/n) rolled her (e/c) at her older brother. "Why isn't mom making you go outside and make friends?" Dave shrugged as he flipped off the TV. "I didn't have friends back in (Town Name) guess she figured I wouldn't have friends here either." Dave’s red eyes scanned (y/n)'s appearance. "Here take my hat. Don't want you getting sick." Dave took off his dark red beanie and shoved it over (y/n)'s (h/l) (h/c) hair. "(Y/n) smiled as she adjusted the hat on her head. "Thanks Dave." Dave nodded at her as he sat back down turned the TV back on. "Be safe (y/n)." "I usually am." (Y/n) waved at her brother as she stepped out into the cold. Pouting, (y/n) walked to where her mom said the park was. 'Normal kids go the park right?' She thought to her self as she trudged through the snow. As she came to the park, she found it completely deserted. "Fuck this. I'm going back home." (Y/n) turned on her heel. Before she could even take a step she was rammed into. Falling backwards, (y/n) flailed her arms around, searching for anything to grab onto. Suddenly she felt something under her hand. Not even caring what she was about to potentially grab, she held onto it with all her might. She sighed a sigh of relief as she didn't feel the back of her head come in contact with the icy concrete of the park. Looking up at what she grabbed, she blushed slightly. Her (f/c) gloves were clasped around a boys yellow gloved hand. Her (e/c) eyes trailed up his arm. The red jacket he was wearing looked three sizes to big. Finally her eyes came into contact with his pale chubby face. His cheeks were a bright shade of red as his brown eyes doubled in size. The blue hat he was wearing fell a little down his face, showing the little yellow puffball at the top. "Hey! Cartmen, wait up." (Y/n) could hear other foot steps coming toward her. "Uh, Cartmen. Who is that?" Cartmens eyes flicked down to (y/n). "EW A GIRL IS TOUCHING ME!" Cartmen let go of (y/n)'s hand. "FUCK!" (Y/n)'s arms flailed around again, but this time her head hit the pavement. "Son of a fucking bitch." (Y/n) rubbed the back of her head as she stood up. She looked at the four guys staring at her. Cartmen hid behind a small boy, his bright orange hood pulled tightly around his face. (Y/n) sighed as she walked in between a boy with a blue hat was a red poof ball hat and a boy with a green hat. "Screw you guys. I'm going home." Feeling the stares disappear off her back except for one. She turned slightly, she saw Cartmen staring at her with a lite blush dusting her cheeks. Turning (Y/n) waved at him slightly. Frowning Cartmen flipped her off. (Y/n) shrugged it off as she continued walking home. As she opened the door, she sighed. Dave looked up at her. "That was fast." (Y/n) shrugged. "I fell and hit my head. Making friends with a mild head injury isn't exactly what I wanted to do." Dave shrugged as (y/n) sat beside him. A little while later, (y/n) and Dave went to bed. "Have fun going to school tomorrow." (Y/n) rolled her eyes as she slipping into her pajamas. Falling asleep almost as soon as her head hit the plush pillow.  Hearing her alarm clock go off (y/n) sighed, jumping out of bed, before her mother would come drag her out of bed again. Pulling on the outfit from yesterday, she grabbed her Terrance and Phillip book bag. Dave handed her a pop tart as they walked to the bus stop. "Excited for a new school." Dave turned to (y/n) with a smug look on his pale face. "Excited for me to kick you in the fucking nuts?" Sighing Dave watched as the high school bus turned the corner, nearing the bus stop. He patted (y/n) on the head. "Have fun at school, bucko." (Y/n) swatted Dave’s hand away as he got on the bus. (Y/n) stood waiting when she heard other kids come running to her. "Come on you fucking fags hurry up or we'll miss the bus!" (Y/n) looked at the four boys from the day before. Cartmens attention went from his friends to the girl standing by the sign. Her hands holding on the straps of her book bag. She kept her (e/c) eyes fixed on the house opposite side of the street. Cartmen whistled idly as he slowly inched closer to (y/n). Stan and Kyle shrugged as the continued to talk. Ignoring Cartmens strange behavior. Kenny smirked under his hood as he walked to the other side of (y/n). "Hi there! I'm Kenny." (Y/n) turned to look at the orange clad boy. Smiling softly she shook his brown gloved hand. "Hi, I'm (y/n)." Kenny winked as her. "Pretty name for a pretty girl." (Y/n) blushed as she punched Kenny in the arm. Laughing Kenny punched her back. Soon it was all out war. As they tried to punch each other harder than the other did before. Both continued laughing. Cartmen stood beside Stan, pouting as he watched Kenny and (Y/n) play together. Soon (y/n) and Kenny stopped both breathing heavy and laughing. "You're actually pretty cool (y/n)." (Y/n) smiled brightly as she pushed Kenny lightly. "You're not to bad your self, Kenny." Kenny and (y/n) continued talking when the bus rolled up. Cartmen got on behind Stan and Kyle who made their way to the back of the bus. Cartmen sat down grumpily, watching as Kenny walked past him to get to the back. (Y/n) not far behind. Without thinking Cartmen grabbed (y/n)'s hand, pulling her into the seat with him. Kenny raised an eyebrow in question at Cartmen. But he shrugged and continued walking to his seat. Waving at his newly found best friend. (Y/n) waved back at him. Feeling someone grab her hand she turned to see Cartmen staring out the window. His chubby hand wrapped securely around hers. (Y/n) blushed slightly as she stared out the front windshield. Cartmen stared out the window when he felt her squeeze his hand lightly. He looked down to see her wrapping her hand around his softly. As the bus stopping in the school parking lot, he felt her remove her hand from his. Frowning, Cartmen raced after her. He stopped as he watched all the other kids crowd around her. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Cartmen glared at the ground as he rushed past her. "That’s just Cartmen, no one really likes him. Just ignore him." Cartmen turned and glared at Clyde. Feeling his nails dig into the soft flesh of his hand. His brown eyes darted over to (y/n)'s (e/c) ones. Clyde stared at Cartmen, scared he would punch him, Clyde started to cry. Panicking, Cartmen turned running through the halls to the boys bathroom. 'Why the fucking hell am I acting like this. She's just a stupid girl. I shouldn't want to be around her so much. I shouldn't get angry at any other boy when their around (y/n).' Cartmen sighed as he left the dimly lit bathroom. Making his way to Mr. Garrisons classroom. Noticing that everyone had their attention on (y/n), Cartmen slipping into the classroom quietly. The class ticked by. (Y/n) introduced her self to the class. Though almost everyone already knew her. Cartmen couldn't stop his brown hues from stealing quick glances at her clear (s/c) skin and lush (h/l) (h/c) hair. Shaking the thoughts from his head, he noticed Kyle and Stan watching him curiously. Before they had a chance to ask him any questions, the bell rang for them to go to recess. (Y/n) watched as Cartmen ran from the classroom. A bright blush dusting his cheeks. (Y/n) frowned as she followed Kenny outside. (Y/n) sat by herself as she watched everyone go with their respective friends. Leaving her to sit on the steps, alone. Cartmen held the three flowers in his hand, shaking slightly as he neared (y/n). In his other hand he held a peice of paper, with a poem scribbled on it sloppily. Finally he took a deep breath and tapped (y/n) on the shoulder. His breath caught in his throat as she smiled at up him, her (e/c) eyes shining brightly. Blushing, he shoved the flowers in her face. She smiled brightly as she took the flowers from his chubby hand. "Thank -" She was cut off as he shoved the poem in her face before she could finish her sentence. Blushing a little brighter, (y/n) took the poem from his hand. Reading it silently, while Cartmen just stared down at her, hoping she wouldn't laugh straight in his face. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Girls are stupid and dumb, But not you." (Y/n) placed the small flowers in her (h/l) (h/c) as she stood up. Smiling brightly she leaned in kissed Cartmens cheek. "Thank you, Cartmen." Nodding at her, he turned running away. (Y/n) giggled as she followed him. He (f/c) shoes crunching the snow as she jogged after him. Grabbing Cartmens hand, she smiled widely. "I like you Cartmen." "I-I-I l-like you t-too." Stan handed Kyle five dollars as they watched from a distance. "Told you he would do it dude." Stan shrugged as he pushed Kyle lightly. "I just can't believe he likes a girl."