Frostbite

Thirteen

2008

The man cowered in front of me, pleading for his life to be spared. His dead friend lay beside him. I glanced at Barnes and swallowed loudly, not bothering to wipe the tears that ran down my face. There was no honor in this; it was coldblooded murder.

"You aren't finished until they're both dead," he reminded me, his eyes void of emotion. I didn't want to kill either of them, I didn't care what purpose it served in their agenda.

Who was I now? A weak-willed murderess. They refused to wipe my memory completely so that I would suffer in remembering what I lost, but they couldn't make me like Barnes because of that. They had threatened to take them away anyway despite Pierce's orders if I couldn't follow their direction. At this point though, I didn't care. It wasn't worth it.

"Are you deaf? Kill him!" he barked. I let out a shaky breath and lowered the gun to my side.

"No. I won't do it," I hissed. He showed no reaction to my words.

"You already killed the other. If you don't complete the mission, they'll kill your brother and put you back in cryo," he told me simply. I had already heard this threat; fear for Tony was what had made me shoot the first man, but I'd have to take my chances.

"I don't believe you," I said simply as I let the gun fall to the ground. The man shot off, believing he had a chance to escape. Barnes picked up my abandoned weapon and didn't hesitate to shoot him in the back. He collapsed, dead, and Barnes just stared at me.

"Pierce is going to be pissed."

"What's new?"

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2010

They took me out of cryo again, and like always I couldn't remember anything that had happened. I despised what my life had become, but I was stuck. There was no hope left of escaping, I would be here for the rest of my life, doing only God knows what in those times I was awake but forced to forget after. I didn't even know how long I'd been here.

Our footsteps barely made any noise as we made our way down the dingy hall to the room I sometimes used. It was usually for only a handful of days before they would put me back under. It was enough time for me to train and for them to examine me like a lab rat and try new serums. Barnes was escorting me back to my room since I apparently had a habit of trying to flee. Not that I could remember, but it did sound like me.

"Never imagined I'd have Captain America's best friend as my warden," I joked, unable to take the silence any longer. He gave me a curious look and stopped outside of my door.

"Who's that?" he inquired, perplexed by my statement. I should have expected this reaction; his memory had been completely wiped so that there was no trace of the life he had before.

"He's a hero. He's been gone for years, but his name was Steve. He was your best friend before... you came here," I explained, wondering why I was even bothering. There was a glint in his eyes and his face scrunched with emotion. Several moments passed before he spoke again.

"Steve... I... is he- he's dead?" he managed to sputter out, his back hitting the wall behind him. I had never seen him show any emotion before; it was almost unnerving.

"Yeah, it's been like sixty-five years or something like that," I replied, watching his reaction closely. His eyes widened, and he slid to the ground, looking at me morosely. He could remember. I knew the drugs and the shocks had their faults, but this was something they were hoping would never happen.

"Did I... did I kill him?"

I looked at him in surprise and exclaimed: "No! He died during World War Two. You didn't- you were already gone." He nodded, closing his eyes and sitting there in silence.

"So, you remember?" I finally asked, sitting across from him.

"Pieces. It's like there's a wall in my mind and I can only see through small windows," he admitted, opening his eyes again. My head was spinning; they would soon put us back under, and we'd both forget this too. If just the mention of Steve Rogers had brought this on, he could potentially remember everything. It was as if he could read my mind, he nodded and said: "I know."

"Damnit. You'd actually have a chance," I sighed and eyed him with humor, "You should escape. I'm sure you could."

"What and you can't?" he scoffed. I smiled and lifted my wrists dramatically into the air.

"These bad boys don't particularly make it an easy option," I smirked, flashing the power restricting cuffs that were always present. They had a tracker inside as well. He snorted, rolling his eyes at my sarcasm.

"You know in another life we might have gotten along swell."

I chuckled in amusement, "Maybe we would have. You're not half bad when lucid."

The corners of his mouth twitched, but he grew serious again. Like he was thinking really hard about something.

"Do you have a family?" he wondered, unsure if we'd had this conversation before. I nodded and let a small smile creep onto my face.

"Just my brother."

"You remember him?"

"I can remember everything before this hell hole. I miss Tony," I whispered, recalling fond memories of my brother. Barnes stared at me with pity, and I hurriedly wiped a small tear away that had escaped.

He abruptly stood and offered his hand to me. I took it cautiously and let him help me to my feet as well. He began walking away, but I called after him jokingly.

"Escaping?"

"Not exactly. I'd have nothing to go back to. You're a different story," he said knowingly, glancing over his shoulder with a smirk.

I shook my head in confusion. He turned the corner, leaving me alone in the empty hallway. We both knew we were going back into Cryostasis in the evening, and our memories would be torn from us once again. We'd only have a few measly hours to hold onto the real human connection we just had.