Frostbite

Anger Is Heavy

Steve was still fast asleep, the machines steadily beeping while keeping track of his vitals. He had surgery to remove the bullet from his arm and had to stay a few nights because of it. And the fact he had lost so much blood between being shot and getting blown to hell. He had been awake earlier but hadn't stayed that way for long.

I adjusted my position in the chair that was next to his bed and flipped to the next page in my book. There was a firm knock on the door, and it opened to reveal Director Fury. He walked in and motioned for me to follow him out into the hallway. I tossed my book onto the now empty chair and obliged. The door stayed barely cracked open and I turned to face him, not saying a word.

"When I told you to take some time to yourselves, I meant somewhere pleasant. No fighting, no work, no injuries," he said, his one eye piercing into my own.

"Sir, I'm sorry. We didn't-"

"I don't need apologies, Stark. I have the Security Council on my ass, because you and Rogers went on an unsanctioned mission and got the FBI involved. If you would have just gone through procedure, I would have given you the green light, but you went behind my back!" he snapped at me, louder than he probably intended, because several nurses peeked up to see what the commotion was.

"It wasn't a mission! We were just supposed to meet with Dr. Clerk!" I exclaimed defensively.

"Really? You had no intention of apprehending her? I hardly see you letting her go after what she did," he raised an eyebrow at me. My mouth tightened into a thin, hard line and I didn't respond. He was right; I wouldn't have left without her in custody.

"Well, it doesn't matter if I would have or not, because she's dead. We never even met, and she was murdered before I could get any answers," I told him flatly. He stared at me for a few moments and sighed in defeat.

"I know you're supposed to come back from your leave in a few days, but Pierce insists that you be suspended for two weeks," he informed me, raising his brow, daring me to challenge it.

"Fine. Is that all, sir?" I mumbled, balling my fists to keep control.

"That's all, Agent Stark. We have agents out looking for the assassin and Dr. Clerk's body. We're also trying to recover what we can from the house. I'm sorry it has to be this way, but I'm not calling the shots," he admitted, "Oh- when Rogers wakes up let him know that I hope he has a speedy recovery."

I gave a stiff nod and watched him walk down the hallway and get on the elevator. As soon as he was out of sight, I went back into the room and angrily plopped myself back into the chair.

"That's unfair of them," Steve declared from out of nowhere. I jumped, and my copy of Emma went flying.

"Christ, Steve! I thought you were asleep," I breathed, eyes wide. He chuckled and sat up.

"I woke up when you left the room," he admitted.

"You heard everything?"

"I did. They shouldn't be punishing you."

"No, he was right. I should have gone down the proper channels," I replied, irritation dripping in my voice. This was my own fault.

"You couldn't have known what would-"

"Yeah, well- I should have anticipated it. It's my job. She'd probably still be alive if we hadn't done everything alone," I groaned, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Maybe, maybe not. You can't blame yourself, Melanie," he told me, attempting to make me feel better I assume.

"Don't act like you actually care. Admit it, the only reason you even came was to distract yourself from your own problems," I hissed coldly, seeing red in the edges of my vision. He flinched slightly but remained silent and stared at the muted TV. I immediately felt guilty for snapping at him.

I huffed and tucked my legs up into the chair with me, curling myself into a ball. My head rested on my knees, and I focused on taking deep breaths. It wasn't Steve's fault I lost the file. Or Dr. Clerk. I slowly unfurled myself and stood up. He was still focusing on whatever was playing, but I knew he wasn't actually paying attention to it.

"Steve, I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, and I shouldn't have said it. It was harsh and untrue," I apologized, gently sitting on the edge of the bed. He turned and gave a wry smile.

"It's alright. You're not wrong about half of it." he sighed, his face turning worn, "I did want a distraction, but I wasn't using you. I wanted to help in any way I could."

"Well, I guess you wouldn't have taken a bullet for me if you didn't," I smirked, lightly elbowing him. He shook his head and laughed. The tension eased between us, and I got up to retrieve my book from the floor.

It was worn from years of use, and the pages were slightly yellowed. I placed it gently on the small table beside me. Steve glanced at it and cocked an eyebrow.

"Emma?"

"Yeah," I looked down at it admiringly, "This was my mother's. It was her favorite book."

"I've never read it. I'll have to pick up a copy," he mused, flipping through the channels on the television. He paused on some random sitcom and unmuted it.

"For an old man you sure know your way around the remote. Here, you can take this," I teased and tossed him the book. He caught it easily and gingerly flipped through the pages.

"But this was your mother's! You trust me with this? It obviously means a lot to you. I can't-" he started to protest.

"As long as you're not planning to torch it or something, you'll be fine," I shrugged, flashing him a smile. He beamed back and placed it on the table beside him.

"Thank you, Melanie."

"Anytime, Cap."

"Well, I'm going back to sleep, since I was rudely awoken," he quipped, wrapping himself in the blankets again. I snorted and rolled my eyes.

Steve quickly fell asleep, and I gazed at him light-heartedly. He was going to be okay and walk away with no issues. He should have never come with me, but I was glad that I didn't have to go through any of this alone. I just needed to stop letting my anger weigh me down and set it free.