Angel Eyed (DISCONTINUED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE)

twenty three

“Go ahead, Pa. We’ll finish up. ” Bill mumbled, stacking the utensils and glasses onto his plate, placing them into the sink. Eric disappears into the living room, leaving me alone with his son again for the second time, however the weight on my chest have decreased slightly. Of course I was still fucking nervous, but by what just happened, perhaps bits and pieces of the old Bill I’ve been looking for all along is still with him.

I do the same with the leftover pieces of dishes on the table, bringing them over to the sink and standing close next to him. Unfortunately their sink was small, smaller than the sink Angel back in her apartment where my cousin and I could wash plates together and talk about my mom and dad. And back there there’d still be plenty of room to spare. I've known that fact since the first time Bill invited me over and I was completely okay with it. Our shoulders would always be pressing on each other and sometimes we would even push each other off for shits and giggles whenever Eric would task us in the kitchen, nonetheless, this time is different. We weren't what we were before, and I’m certainly not what I was before. In this place, I have the history of breaking his heart, and one warm moment isn't enough to erase all of that.

He opened up the tap and water comes rushing down the stains on the white plate, easily washing it off. I take one and run my hands along the food residue, Bill doing the same underneath the running water after pushing up the sleeves of his sweatshirt. It was a chore not to let my shoulder touch his so I didn't bother. It's not like I was desperately trying to be close to him again anyway. Or maybe I am. I don't know, I've been desperate for the entire week, it's hard to tell the difference anymore between desperation and eagerness. Or maybe the difference don't exist.

The silence was slowly driving me to insanity as the water splashed up my elbow dampening my skin, the hissing from the tap not enough to fill the absence lingering in the thick air. I still didn't have a properly executed plan on how to apologize, all I've thought of in the duration that we ate in silence are a bunch of half-baked ideas. Either way I wasn't backing up now. I didn't go through all of that for nothing.

I finished up one dish and placed it over the counter, starting with another one, our wet arms touching every now and then from lack of spaces but he didn't seem to mind. “I-I’m sorry about your game.” I uttered, carefully picking off the dried cheese on the surface of a spoon. “I heard you’ve been undefeated for two games.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, the rush of the tap filling my ears again. Whenever we were together there won’t be silence for longer than three seconds before he picks up another topic. I waited for him to talk again right there and then but it was obvious he didn't know what to say, and I didn't know what to say either.

“You did good. I was hoping you would win.” I tell him, rinsing the soapy spoon.

“We can’t win forever, I guess.”

Silence again.

I was never the type of person to drag on a conversation when I know it wasn't working, but in this case it should be working. He was the only person other than Angel I could comfortably talk to, now I can’t even do so anymore.

“How long have you been in the team?” I asked, knowing full well how long.

“A year.”

“That’s great.” I smile, “You're officially a jock.”

“Am I though?” He looks at me over his shoulder.

“Yeah, you remember those old stereotypes from mean girls?”

“Who could forget?”

“Angel loved that movie.”

“How is she?” He mumbles.