sixteen

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"Please, give a round of applause for Ms. Cassandra Crisostomo!" Stella yells clear as day, her hand directly pointing towards my direction, and I never thought I would ever hate hearing my name from someone as much as I do now.

They did as told and my ears drowned in a sea of clapping and whistles, cheering for me to go up there, my eardrums suffocating from the noise. I've never been up on a stage before except for my grade school graduation, and that wasn't even anything extreme because my mother was with me when I climbed up the platform and received my salutatorian award. I cried after my memorized speech of farewell, not because I was going to miss any of my classmates or teachers, but because I was royally ashamed and happy at the same time. Happy that I would finally get away from the people that whispered about me during lunch, and happy that I could finally start over my life and forget that I was a victim of the twelve year olds who think they're a reincarnation of Regina George.

But I guess this is different. This isn't grade school, these people aren't twelve year olds that I've known since preschool and if I mess up, my mother won't be here to cover up for me. If Chester is right, then I might as well be surrounded by serial killers and cult members and political masterminds who took a role in the world wars. I dread the idea of looking behind me, fearing of what I could see. I couldn't move, my feet were stuck on the pitch black floors, and I feel like I had just been shoved to my death, and now I was choking on air.

"She's calling you." Chester utters on my ear.

"Yeah no shit." I shrieked, the claps increasing my already raced heartbeat.

"Well c'mon now, Cassy, don't be shy!" Stella pressed on, looking down at me and from that distance I notice the small mic attached to her ear and extending to her mouth. "Come join me and meet our audience! They love you! Isn't that right, my people?"

The crowd screamed louder in response, chanting in unison. "We love Cassy! we love Cassy!"

My grasp tighten on Chester's arm for dear life like I was going to be taken away if I hadn't, my thoughts screaming into my skull. Perhaps if I was in a different place and they were chanting my name for a different reason I would be beyond delighted to give them what they want. Unfortunately, I was in here right now, in some place that could possibly be hell, with the only person I could trust Chester who made me drink acid the last time we met and witnessed me scrub my face on the floor with spit. I was astronomically screwed, and I don't know how to get out of it.

"Go up there and get it over with." Chester puts a hand on top of mine and sternly looks me in the eyes, like he was telepathically encouraging me and still it wasn't working. His suggestion could actually be successful. I could just go up there and act like the idiot that I am and be done with it, however I was way too caught up with the yelling to respond to any kind of encouragement to gather myself up.

I swallowed the lump forming at the back of my throat, gulping on every last bit of bravery left inside of me, but there were none left. I've exhausted all of them when I kicked that guy in his crotch, and nothing even good resulted in me doing that so it just became a tragic waste. If I have known that Stella would once again shove me into inconvenience, I could have at least prepared myself. I didn't just feel like shit, I look like shit too. maybe. I didn't know. It's been ages since I last looked at a mirror.

I hitched a breath and let go of Chester's arm with all my might, keeping myself together as I cautiously made my way up to the stage, watching my feet on each step otherwise my face would hit the floor again. The audience kept on chanting my name, their voices drowning out the pounding of my heart. My limbs wobbled as I walk towards Stella, almost tripping from the wires camouflaged into the black floors. I take a glimpse of the crowd ahead, my heart leaping as my eyes attempted to find the edge of the room. There weren't, and along with the walls, the people extended for what seemed to be miles and they were all fucking observing each and every move of my feet, including Chester. My eyes were glued to their faces, seemingly searching for something but I never find it, and before I could stop myself I collide with Stella.

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