Smile For Me || Niall Horan

9: I'm Sorry

Smiles are like Band-Aids. They cover up the pain, but it still hurts.

"I missed you," Jake says to me. 

"I missed you too," I say smiling up at him. We were sitting on a park bench. It was a sunny day and everyone was outside walking their dogs or playing on the swings or something. "Where are the boys?" I ask, realizing that 0/5 of One Direction are anywhere to be seen. Claire was on the playground. 

"Who cares?" He sounded angry suddenly. "He didn't tell you he was leaving!" 

"You can't trust him, Lex," Austin suddenly walks up.

"Don't trust him," Jake agrees. Suddenly I feel like everyone around me is telling me not to trust him. Everyone at the park gathers and tells me 'not to trust him'. Even my parents show up, smiling at me. Jake was there too. Everyone I knew was there and they were all repeating the same thing. Don't trust him. He lied. Sort of. He with-held important information.

"Stop!" I yell, getting up and running. They were all like zombies. Even after I got away from everyone I could still hear their voices echoing around me. Don't trust him. 

I open my eyes and hug my knees to my chest. Don't trust him. I could see Niall outside on his own balcony through my window. He was staring at the ground and I was careful to make sure he didn't see me. I sigh and walk over to my guitar case. Quietly strumming The Only Exception by Paramore. I try to make sure it's not heard from outside. Even though Niall probably can assume I'm awake I really don't feel up to talking to him tonight. I don't cry. The first night in a long time. I just stay awake and play music.

Suddenly, around 2:30 AM, I hear a knock on my balcony door. I jump and turn around to see Niall peeking through the window. I frown. Since I keep the door locked (afraid of someone breaking in like three years ago) he wasn't able to open the door. I put my guitar on its stand and go to open it for him. 

"Hi," I say quietly when I come face to face with him. I don't go outside and I don't move for him to come in. We stand there, each on a different side of the threshold. His hands are shoved in the pockets of his sweat jacket and he's in his pajama pants. 

"Can we talk?"

"About what?" I cross my arms, something I do when my guard is up. He looks at me for a while with a begging look in his eyes. I sigh, roll my eyes, and walk out onto the balcony with him, shutting the door behind me. 

"I'm sorry."

"For what Niall? Did you just forget to mention that you guys were all leaving for so long on tour? After everything that I told you about my life and everything I trusted enough to share and you can't even tell me that you have a tour! It's not like you didn't get a chance! I mean any of those nights when I was pouring out everything on my mind to you would have been an acceptable time. I'm sure you knew about this before you invited me and Claire to live here. She's going to be crushed when you guys leave." I rant on. 

"Come with us," he says, interrupting my lecture.