suddenly ♡ malum ✓

➵ twenty five

WEDNESDAY

 

Dear diary, 

today I hung out with Luke.

I needed someone to talk to about my feelings for Calum and he's my best friend.

Also we haven't done a lot together in the past few days so yeah.

**

"Then tell me what you wanted to tell me," Luke said and sat down on his bed. 

"So I realized that I have feelings for Calum and they're driving me crazy," I explained, standing awkwardly in his room.

"First of all sit down. Second of all aw, Michael has a crush on Calum, how cute."

I felt my cheeks redden.

"Y-Yeah, I guess I do," I admitted and sat down next to him. "But what should I do now?"

"Uh, do you know if he likes you too?"

I shrugged, "Well, he likes me as a friend, that's for sure. I mean he always calls me cute and misses me all the time but that doesn't have to mean anything."

"Dude, Calum's head over heels for you."

I smiled.

"You think so? I'm not sure. I mean he is gay so I could have a slight chance with him."

It was now Lukes turn to smile.

"You're adorable when you're in love," he said and pinched my cheeks.

"Don't you dare touch my cheeks again, I will cut off your hands and you won't be able to give Ashton a handjob anymore and I'm not in love. It's just a crush. I just don't know what to do now. These feelings are driving me crazy, Luke. He drives me crazy. Please tell me, how should I act around him?"

"Act like you always do. I know it's hard because your heart starts beating like crazy and your mind goes blank when he's around. You feel like you can't speak properly and if it hit you really bad you start to shiver. It's not even bad if that happens, it's natural. That's what happens when you like someone," he explained, "Just don't try to faint and everything will be okay."

I laughed, "Yeah, okay, I'll try not to faint when he's around."

Then we talked about our crazy new teacher and Ashton for an hour but sadly I had to leave.

"We should hang out more again," I said and he nodded. I was about to leave when he hold me back.

"One little question," he said.

"What?"

"What do you want for your birthday?"

I laughed. 

"I guess you'll have to figure it out yourself."

"You're a dick," he said.

"And you like dick," I said like I did when Calum told me I was being a dick.

"Well, you like dick too so that comeback failed."

God dammit.

-

"What the fuck? Calum, what are you doing in my room?" I asked, slightly shocked but also very happy.

"Didn't your mom tell you I'm here?" he asked and I shook my head, "Well, now you know."

"Yeah, I know. Still, what are you doing here?" I asked and took off my jacket. 

"I wanted to tell you about my plans for your birthday on Saturday."

"You made plans for my birthday?" I asked.

"Yeah. We don't have to do it if you don't like it."

"Maybe but first you need to tell me what you've planned."

I smiled and sat down next to him on my bed.

So far I didn't stutter, I had my heartbeat somewhat under control and I wasn't shivering.

"I thought we could have a bonfire," he started.

"We as in?"

"You, me, Luke and Ashton."

"Sounds good so far, what else?" I asked.

"That was it. I know a really cool place where we could stay the night. We could sleep in tents or under the stars. I don't care, it's your birthday. What do you think?"

Now I started to get nervous. Calum shifted closer and closer and smiled at me and-

"Michael?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think?"

"About what?" I asked.

"The bonfire."

"B-Bonfire?"

"Yeah, the one I thought we could have on your birthday. Are you even here?" he asked, staring at me.

No, I got lost in your eyes.

"Y-Yeah, I mean, sure. Great idea. Let's do it," I said, trying to keep my heartbeat under control. 

"Great. You don't have to do anything for it, I'll prepare everything. Sadly I have to go now but I'll text you later."

"Okay, great," I said.

He then gave me a small kiss on my cheek and left my room.

**

This boy will be the end of me.

- Michael :)