Dear Honey, so today Toni and Fangs took me out for the first time since you know when. we went down to the quarry and i had to keep myself from breaking down in front of them. i promise you i was being the guy you know, the soft and sweet one. no, actually, i can't lie. in reality, i was crying my ass off as soon as i stepped foot into the damn water. fangs tried to calm me down, and toni tried splashing me to make me laugh, but nothing and i mean nothing could ever make me laugh the way you did.
im no longer the same. no longer the soft and sweet boy.
— love, Pea.
FANGS AND TONI SHARED a laugh before they looked up at Sweet Pea. The boy had fallen to his knees and tears were rapidly streaming down his face. "Pea!" They shouted and ran to him, falling beside him. "Pea, what's wrong?"
Sweet Pea shook his head and looked up at his best friends. "I can't do it. I can't come here and pretend that I'm okay when I'm not. I know that I should probably be over it by now and that I shouldn't cry every single time her name is mentioned or I go somewhere we would always go to — but you guys brought me to the fucking quarry, the quarry! And it fucking hurts. It hurts."
Fangs and Toni frowned and Fangs tried to calm Sweet Pea down whilst Toni hugged his bare chest. "Did she — did she even love me? Why would she leave me? Why would she just.. just take her own damn life as if all the fucking pain and all her problems would go away? Did she not think about how we would feel? How I would feel? I don't — I don't think she loved me. She wouldn't have done it. I should've helped her! I should've known that she wasn't okay and that she needed help! I should've been there for her! But I — I didn't. And now she's gone." Sweet Pea sobbed.
Toni placed her hands on Sweet Pea's cheeks. She shook her head and wiped his tears away. By now, the three of them were all crying. "She loved you, Sweets. God, she loved you so fucking much. But the hatred for her own self overpowered it, and we couldn't have changed that. Okay?"
"So do not think it's your fault, Pea. It was never your fault and it never will be. Nor would it have ever been. Did you not see how she looked at you? How she hugged you? How she smiled around you? She fucking loved you, Sweet Pea." Fangs told him.
Sweet Pea looked up from the water. His eyes bloodshot and snot running down from his nose. He brushed the snot away before he sniffled and shook his head. "Then why did she leave me?"
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