suddenly ♡ malum ✓

➵ nineteen

"You're welcome," I whispered at Luke and he mouthed 'Thank you so much'.

I'm a good friend.

After them a guy named Connor and some chick named Cynthia went in the closet and I was pretty sure they almost had sex in there.

Two other 'couples' went in and after that Luke shouted, "Michael, it's your turn." 

I got really nervous because I barely knew someone and it would be pretty awkward to go in that closet with a stranger.

I secretly hoped that I had to go with Adriana, maybe we could get to know each other better. I mean, we could talk, not make out. I'm not really the type of guy who kisses before the first date.

Tom whispered something in Ashton's ear and he just giggled and said,

"You're going with Calum."

"Uh, w-what? Guys, I'm n-not gay and it would be way too awkward," I said and laughed. "You can't do this."

"Hell yes we can, now go and make out or something," Luke said and I looked at Calum who just shrugged and got up from the couch.

I couldn't and not really wanted to move so I just sat there until Luke grabbed me and shoved me into that tiny closet.

"I don't want to."

"But you have to," Luke said, shoved Calum also in and locked the door.

We were pressed up against each other but I couldn't look him in the eyes.

"What? Do I smell bad or why didn't you want to go in here with me?" Calum asked, laughing.

"No, I just don't want to make out with you."

"Well, I don't want to make out with you either."

"I don't even know how the others could make out in here, there's barely room to move," I said, still not looking at him.

"Am I ugly or why won't you look at me?" he asked.

"No, you're not. You're attractive and you know that."

"Oh, so you think I'm attractive?"

"Well, yes?" I turned out like a question but it was true, Calum was attractive.

I'm serious.

"Then look at me," he said.

I turned my face to him. He was a little bit taller than me, I didn't notice that before. 

It started to get really hot and my heart was beating fast because we were so close and everything was just too much.

"Is it- is it hot in here?" I asked and Calum shrugged.

"I don't know," he brought his face even closer to mine and whispered, "Is it?"

He placed a hand on my cheek and looked me deep in the eyes.

"C-Calum, uh, w-what are you doing?" I stuttered. 

"I don't know," he said and gave me a kiss on my other cheek, "You know, we don't have to make out and we won't but I can kiss your cheek, right? Are you okay with this?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I-I guess?"

He wrapped his hands around my waist and brought us closer together, even though I was pretty sure that this wasn't possible. 

"I like your new hair color, Michael," he said in a seducing voice.

My head was spinning and there were those goosebumps again and my heart was racing and I kind of leaned in and it was so so hot in that closet and I didn't really knew what I was doing.

It shocked me that Calum also leaned in but what shocked me the most was that I didn't stopped him.

Before my lips could touch his the door was opened and I didn't know if I was thankful for that or mad about it.

"Seven minutes are over," Ashton shouted and laughed. 

Calum removed his hands from my waist and left the closet, leaving me alone, breathless and really really confused.

**

I still don't know what exactly happened.

Did I really almost kiss my friend? My friend who is a guy?

I'm straight.

Or at least I think I am.

Or am I just over thinking?

Maybe i just need some sleep.

- Michael ??? (Am I even Michael I mean I don't really know who I am anymore bye)