Her Splash of Color | ✓

✤ 1.7 two can fight ✤

Posted August 11th, 2018

✤ Rihaan: 1.7 two can fight ✤

I have never ever seen Sanya this mad at anyone. I am the one who first started to call her San when we were kids. How can she say that to me?

And then it dawns. She isn't mad. She is hurt. Looking at her, I could not think of one reason why I thought the right thing to do then was to leave. There is such sadness in her eyes. Those eyes which have always held a certain sparkle in them. It was missing and the realization brings a heavy pull to my heart... the fact that I am the reason it is there. I put that sadness there when it had been the last thing I had wanted.

She turns to leave, but I can't watch her turning her back on me. My conscious mocks. Just like you turned your back on her. Payback is a bitch, huh?

I should not have left. Oh, how I have regretted that choice uncountable times in the past months. I had come to accept that sorting myself out did not mean I had to ignore Sanya in the process. I could have handled it better... but by the time senses returned to me, it was too late.

Until dad sat me down and taught me that it is never too late to fix the wrong choices made. That we need to own them. That it doesn't mean it can be forgotten but it does mean that there was growth as we learned and the growth, in turn, builds character.

I don't know if I am at the point of building character and all, and as much as it is scary to navigate the 'growing up' part of life. But, I did come to realize that it does not happen overtime. It does not happen without making a thousand mistakes along the way. Without disappointing our loved one just as many times.

I pull her hand back taking a large step to reach her and turn her around. "San, listen..."

She jerks her hand out of my grasp, "Not interested."

The rejection sends a pang to my heart. I deserve this. I do. But, it hurts to receive it.

I open my mouth but she cuts me off again. "And don't ever touch me again."

Baffled, I am left standing there as she disappears inside the building.

I left so I wouldn't hurt her again... but the reality crashes with a deep pain inside of me. I hurt her the worst by leaving.

My Sanya is not this cold person. She doesn't grit at people in utmost anger, saying hurtful words as if she really means them. My Sanya didn't even know how to be angry at anyone.

But... it seems she has spent the last three months fostering that anger towards me. And I am not so sure that I don't deserve every bit of it. She never said it, but I knew she counted on me to be there for her. I always understood what she wanted without her saying it. Then, how could I have been the one to misunderstand what she wanted when she needed it the most? I thought I was doing her a favor by leaving... letting her come out of her shell the way she wanted without my interference.

Why did I only think about myself?

I was wrong.

I was so wrong.

*✧✤--------------------------✤✧*

Returning to the assembly hall, I find my way around the students to where Kriana and Sanya are standing. Kriana's eyes are wide as Sanya tips her head back and swings the punch down in one go. Kriana wouldn't be shocked if the punch wasn't spiked. As I near them, I hear her. "San?"

"What?"

"Uh... that was spiked. You do remember that, right?"

"Oh well."