Her Splash of Color | ✓

✤| introducing Sanya |✤

Posted on May 4th, 2018

✤ | 🎨Introducing Sanya | ✤ 

I fiddle with my thumb and index. Each step that I take towards the second floor of the house when Rihaan's room is, my anxiousness increases.

This, to say, is the Raizada mansion. While we live our weekly days separate, the weekends are spent together as one big family.

It is only on the weekends when everyone camps out here. Everyone meaning Kriana and her parents and Rihaan and his parents. Other than me and my parents Sam and Lavanya Irani, Uncle Arnav, Aunt Khushi, Arshiya, Aarav, Aunt Anjali and Uncle Aman already live here as it is their house.

We only live here due to Aarav, who is my mom's adopted son. I imagine it was quite an adjustment for dad to leave his own place and shift here when he married mom and agreeing to this situation. Truth was, he knew how close mom is to Aarav and he couldn't dream of taking her away from him or putting Aarav through two separate houses while growing up given that Aunt Anjali was his real mother and my mom and Uncle Arnav, Anjali's brother, had adopted Aarav as a child.

Yes, it's very confusing but that is a long story for another time though.

As for me, I live in this house with the Irani family and the Raizada family. With a part of Raizada family came the Gupta family, Rihaan and his parents given his father was Khushi Raizada's brother.

Earlier in the childhood, however, I spent a few years in United States. As a matter of fact, I was born there. While mom was pregnant with me, dad insisted his family wanted a part in it and ofcourse, mom wouldn't refuse. So, they'd shifted to United States for the year. Then, given as it was my birth country and my dad's side of the family lived there, I've been to the US a fair amount of time. My last trip there was only 2 months ago.

Standing in front of Rihaan's room (yes, he as well as others had a permanent room in this house where they stayed at over the weekend when they were here), I inhaled deeply to push away my anxiety.

Being around Rihaan, lately, it's been making me more and more nervous.

People intimidate it, it's a fact. More than that, I have social anxiety. I am the biggest introvert you shall ever meet because of it.

I actively will try everything in my power to stay away from crowds. I can't help it when I am home with my big family so what I'll do is sit in my own corner and never say anything. In fact, I'll put in earplugs in one of my ear to zone out their noises and focus on music instead that'll keep my nerves calm.

My anxiety is ironic given my large extended family - but it is how it is. I can't explain it.

It's the idea of interacting with people and the unknown of how they will respond or judge me - what they think about what I have to say.

Yes, it makes me into a person who isn't confident about herself, highly insecure, and the lowest of self-esteem.

Sad? Maybe.

Especially with how low large of a public figure my parents are. Dad owns Irani Fashion House while mom is a designer at AR Designs and also holds some percentage of ownership which she's basically transferred in my name - saying she doesn't need to own anything and simply a job is enough for her. And if you don't know, both of these fashion houses? Ever since their merger roughly 10 years ago, they have been the leading names in the fashion industry of India.

So me turning out the way I did? Definitely must not have been planned by the family who is filled with extreme socialites. But, it is who I am.

I recall Aarav's words that had me standing in front of this door. "San, go wake up Rihaan, will you? Ask him to call his mom."