Her Splash of Color | ✓

✤ 1.20 losing my light ✤

Posted October 17th, 2018

✤ Sanya: 1.20 losing my light ✤

The only thought in my mind the second Rihaan took a dangerous step towards Faisal and punched him was that someone had to stop him. Kriana tried. Girish tried. But he wasn't listening to anyone.

A wild rage had overpowered him.

I didn't know why.

All I knew was that this was not my Rihaan. He was not one to stoop down to others' level. With the sole thought of not letting such darkness control him, I forgot about my own fears and before I knew it, I was standing in front of him.

Getting him to just look at me last time had worked.

But this time, it didn't.

Why? Whatever had happened, whatever Faisal had said, it couldn't have anything to do with Kunal whom he had been harassing before. No, it would have to be a grave error to get him this pissed off.

He was losing himself to this fury and I refused to let that happen. I hugged him, tight. Said the first thoughts in my head to get him to not go down this path.

I knew. I knew very well how easy it is to lose yourself to negative thoughts. The darkness. I battled it every day. I couldn't have him following the same. In my darkness, he was my light. He had always been. I needed him to keep being that flicker of light. For me to follow that light as a guide in my dark moments.

How could I do that if he wouldn't stop now?

And now... the way he crushes me to his body as if holding on to me with everything. God, he has to know. This is the exact way I hold on to him when I need to push my destructive, irrational thoughts away. I hold on to him emotionally, though, yes. That is our difference. But it doesn't matter.

All that matters is that he is back. That he came back to me. That I am not losing him to darkness. That can never happen because if it happens, there is nothing left for me.

He helps me remain in the light. In the good moments. In a vibrant part of my brain as opposed to my dark one.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

I lean back a little and getting the hint, he loosens his arms around me but does not release me completely. "You mean skip class?"

He changes his mind as if thinking it was a silly thing to ask. "Never mind. We can go back to class."

Back to class? I sprint into a decision, "No, uh, let's leave."

I choose the lesser evil and right now, in my book, skipping class is the thing to do. I don't want to face those people just yet. Another time, I would frown upon rebelling and breaking rules but right now, I go with my heart instead of my head and the supposed 'right' thing to do to be a 'good' student.

He confirms after his initial shock passes that I actually agree with his random thought, "Sure?"

"Yeah." I reply in determination.

"Really?"

I find myself laughing and pulling back to put distance between us. "Yes, buddhu. Now let's go before the bell rings and someone catches us!"

That gets him to leap in action mods. Slipping his hand in mine, he tugs me beside him to leave school grounds quickly.

Though, once we are outside the gates, I start to think a little logically. "Uh, where will we go? And how?"