Skye was nearly bowled over by Asia as the brunette agent sprinted down the hall, tears in her eyes. Those words she had hurt...they shattered her heart. She sure wasn't moving on from him, she loved that stupid, stupid scientist more than she let herself even think. Because if she let herself think about it, the feelings overwhelmed her, swarmed her, they ate her up. But now to hear him say that, to say she was terrible, to say he wanted nothing to do with her...all the feelings came back and they overloaded her senses, forcing tears out of her eyes. They fell down her cheeks like torrents, washing away any control she had left.
"Hey, hey, Asia!" Skye said, grabbing her shoulders and giving her a little shake, trying to get the other agent to look her in the eyes. But Asia wouldn't, she wouldn't meet her gaze, she couldn't even through the tears, she could hardly see anything at all. She knew it was Skye, though, simply by the sound of her voice. "Hey, take a deep breath, I'm right here," Skye continued, trying to get her friend to calm down. Asia took a shaky breath, as order, hiccuping slightly, as she looked up at her friend's warm, brown eyes that were laced with concern. "What the hell happened? What's wrong? Is everything okay?"
Asia could only shake her head, no, that it wasn't okay. Nothing was okay. "I'm, I'm..." she started to say, but couldn't finish her sentence. "You always ask if I'm fine and I'm, I'm not," she finally choked out. "I'm not fine, I'm not okay. I...I pulled away from everyone because you all got hurt because of me, because of my mistakes. I only wanted to keep you safe. And now...now Leo thinks. He thinks I'm terrible. I heard him, I heard him say it, to Hunter. He's moved on from me, he thinks I'm the same kind of terrible as Hunter's ex wife." the words suddenly started to tumble out of her mouth of their own accord, she was unable to stop them. "And that's all my fault too. Everything bad that's happened to him...to all of you, it's all stemmed from me."
Skye pulled the girl into a tight hug. "Asia, none of this is your fault, everything that happened. You know whose fault it is? HYDRAs. And Ward's. You didn't do any of this. The only thing your responsible for is what you've done to yourself, the pain you've caused yourself, okay? And you need to let that go. You need to come back to us. Cause keeping yourself so far away from everyone is hurting you. I can see it killing you every day."
When Skye released her from her hug, Asia looked up at her and nodded numbly. "I've lost him, haven't I? Ruined the whole thing? He can't even speak around me, if he knows I'm there...he leaves. He hates me."
"Asia, I don't think there's a bone in Leo Fitz's body that hates you," Skye sighed. "I think he's upset, and I think he's hurt. I think it's going to take time for the two of you to be friends again, much less anything more than that. But I don't think you've lost him, and I don't think you ever will." Skye meant every word she spoke, she wasn't just saying it to calm Asia down. She had seen the way those two used to look at each other, the way they still looked at each other, when the other wasn't watching. No, there was no doubt in her mind that Leo Fitz still loved Asia Monroe, even though things were a little messy right now. That didn't mean it wouldn't work out in the end. "Now what can I do to help you? Is there anything you need?" Skye said, wrapping an arm around her friend, leading her into her old bedroom and sitting her down on the bed, where Asia immediately drew her knees to her chest, resting her head atop them.
"I want Jemma," she replied softly. Jemma would know what to do, or at least know how to make her feel better. Jemma, far away in her HYDRA apartment, waiting to wake up and go back into that poisoned building. Jemma had been the one urging her to speak to Fitz again. She would know how to fix this, she had to.
"Okay, okay," Skye said with a nod, thinking about it. "I'll speak with Coulson, I'll see what I can do, okay? We'll figure out a way for you to see her. Will you be okay while I'm gone?" She asked her friend, kneeling down to look into her eyes.
Asia nodded one quick little nod. She would be fine, just fine. She was always fine, that didn't mean okay. But it was as close as she could get right now. When Skye left the room, Asia slid under her covers and shut her eyes, letting sleep take over her.
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Asia decided the next day, one way or another, she was going to see Jemma. Even if it meant breaking director orders. She wouldn't feel okay again until she got to speak with her friend.
Unfortunately for her, she wasn't about to get that luxury. Raina was reaching out to Coulson about some sort of meeting, and word on the street was she threatened one of their own. "Get dressed," Coulson had told her in the morning, eyeing her specifically, looking for any signs of the sorrow Skye had mentioned the night before. But he saw none, no tear tracks down her cheeks, no shaking, no frowns. Just a lack of spark in her eyes, but frankly, that had been missing for some time now. "We're organizing a meeting with Raina. I want you with Trip in the Quinnjet, just in case something goes wrong."
Like a good soldier, Asia nodded, and returned minutes later, dressed in black Kevlar, ready for whatever the night may have in store for them. The team loaded into the jet, May, Skye, Hunter, and Coulson sitting in the back, Trip and Asia piloting. The two agents dropped their squad off an hour prior to the set meeting time, so they could pay off the owner, prepare for the meeting, make sure everything was set and ready to go. Then, they landed the jet on a nearby rooftop, staying cloaked, and waited for their orders.
"You doing okay today, Monroe?" Trip said, turning to look at her as they turned down the comms low enough that they could just hear what was going on inside the restaurant. "You look like somethings up, talk to me."
"It's nothing more than usual," the agent replied, looking out the window at the night sky. The city lights shone brightly beyond them. "I'm just trying to figure out how to balance it all. How to stay close to everyone without putting you in harm. And there doesn't seem to be a good answer."
"Maybe there isn't supposed to be a good answer," Trip shook his head, flashing her a comforting smile. "But that's life, Asia. We can't have sunshine all the time, it'd get way too boring for people like us." He glanced over at his teammate, hoping his words were comforting to her. "And also, I want you to know. I'm pretty damn qualified. So if I make a mistake, if I ever get hurt, that's on me, that's not on you. Okay?"
Asia sighed, rolling her eyes. "Yea, yea. Okay." But she turned and smiled at him. "thanks Trip. You should have your own TED Talk."
He let out a small laugh and was opening his mouth to drop a sick rebuttal, when Coulson's voice cut through on comms. "Begin extraction as planned," he barked out the order, and Trip was all business once more.
"Copy that, sir. Monroe and I are on the move," he replied over the radio, starting up the engines for the jet.
"Extraction?" Asia asked as their plane took flight over the night sky. "What extraction? Why wasn't I briefed?" She felt uncomfortable being placed on part of a mission with no information provided to her.
"Cmon, girl, relax," Trip teased. "Don't you trust me? And anyways, if we told you all the details, I wouldn't get to see the look of surprise you're about to have on your face in fifteen minutes."
YOU ARE READING
Renegade Rising || Leo Fitz Book Two
Fanfiction**this is a sequel to Birds of a Feather** Following the acts of Birds of a Feather, we find ourselves amidst the story of SHIELD after their fall. Phil Coulson has become the new Director of SHIELD and is working on assembling those still loyal to...
