Freedom To Love

Chapter 37

I didn't even bother to stop by my sister's apartment nor did I visit my dad to let them know what I had discovered as well as my intentions. I drove the four and a half hours back to my apartment, dazed. Images of Lance lying in a pool of blood kept flashing across my mind. A wave of guilt washed over me knowing that I hadn't gone to visit him as planned but I couldn't. I couldn't bare staring at him in a hospital bed fighting for his life, because of me. Of all the times I was on him about not being a statistic and doing better with his life, never in a million years would I have been able to fathom that he'd suffer simply for loving me.

Maybe I should have just left him alone, but I couldn't. He was different than what I was used to but in the ten months that we'd gotten to know each other I came to love everything about him. He made me realize that time was just an illusion we liked to cling to when faced with the unknown. I felt more love from him and his family in a few months than I ever had from my own mother and Aaron if I were to be totally honest with myself. My heart shattered a little knowing that they'd go to such great lengths to jeopardize my happiness.

The following days moved along with absolutely no sense of urgency. I went through the motions, barely hanging on to my sanity. My life consisted of work and school at this point since I'd quit track. The weight of everything that had occurred started taking a serious toll on my physical and mental state. My dad wanted me to take a break but I convinced him that I would persevere. It was start the of March which meant that I was two months shy of my graduation. I couldn't give up, something in my life had to turn out right.

Once Friday came around I made my now routine journey down to Temple Mount Medical Centre after exiting my final class for the day. I hoped and prayed that I didn't somehow run into Aaron because I wouldn't be responsible for what I'd do if I saw him. I was pissed that he had allowed my mother to manipulate him, however I was even more annoyed with myself for not noticing how much of a puppet he had become, afterall I was once in his position. After following the usual protocol I made my way to Lance's room. Just as I was about to make my entrance the door swung open. His mother was just leaving and for the first time I saw a hint of weakness, from the puffiness of her eyes and the moisture on her cheeks I could tell she was crying.

"Hey Ms. Loretta." I greeted.

"Hey baby." She said, quickly drying her face with a handkerchief.

"Are you okay?" I asked, concern etched across my face. She was usually so positive and upbeat.

"Yes . I'm alright." She said, offering a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. For the first time since I'd met her I finally realized where Lance got his mesmerizing light brown eyes from. I pulled her in for what I hoped would be a comforting embrace. Her shoulders heaved as we held on to each other.

"I really appreciate you sweetheart." She said as she dabbed her tears and released herself from my embrace.

"It's no problem really." I said sincerely.

"You know somebody else would've left him." She started looking in Lance's direction. "I really appreciate you staying by his side."

"I love you like my own daughter. Once he recovers I hope you guys get married and give me some grandbabies." She chuckled as offered a genuine smile this time. I returned the gesture or at least I tried to. However, I felt a knot form in my stomach at the mention of grandbabies. The possibility of me being pregnant still loomed. I honestly couldn't remember if I had had my period or not. I was too scared to verify.

Once Ms. Loretta left I took my usual spot at his bedside. Lately I hadn't been doing much talking I just sat with him and prayed. I had also resorted to repeating my new daily mantra, Luke 1:37. For with God nothing shall be impossible. Today was no different. As I took his hand in mine I lovingly stroked it as I hummed along to Jekalyn Carr's You're Bigger.

I must've been sitting with Lance for longer than I'd thought because I found myself stirring awake as I felt my hand being squeezed. It took me a moment to rub the remnants of sleep from my eyes before my brain registered what was happening. I felt the squeeze again. Once my vision cleared I realized his eyes were fluttering and a faint cough escaped his lips. He was waking up. I lifted my eyes heavenward and thanked God.

Afterward I swiftly ran to get a nurse, doctor, anybody really. A medical team wasted no time rushing into Lance's room. I stood off to side as they did their thing assessing his vitals and whatever else was necessary. I excitedly called his mother and relayed the news. She broke out into a praise break while still on the phone before hanging up. I knew she had to have ignored the speed limit because she and the rest of the family made it to the hospital in record time. They all flooded the room once the doctors signaled their approval to see him.

I excused myself to grab something to eat, not wanting to intrude on their family time. Not that I was selfish but I also wanted to have sometime with him alone. I decided to grab my favorite wings from Ms. Wilma's diner. Once I made it back to the hospital his family was gone. As I made my way back into his room I noticed that he was off the ventilator and the tubes running through his nose were nonexistent. I smiled as I watched the rise and fall of his chest. I planted a gentle kiss on his cheek before taking my seat. He half smiled at me as his eyes fluttered open.

"Mia." He said barely above a whisper, signifying that he'd defied one of the odds. The doctor had mentioned that memory loss was strong possibility.

"Hey boo." I said, smiling at him.

"How you been?" He asked, his voice hoarse.

I chuckled,"Wow Lance. You're the one that just woke up not too long ago and you're asking about my wellbeing?" I asked, amused at his selflessness.

He smiled,"Gotta make sure my girl is okay."

"I am now that I know you are." I said. He offered a smile that didn't reach his eyes and I instantly grew concerned but I shrugged it off not wanting to stress him. We sat in silence for a few more minutes before a doctor waltzed in.

"Hello Mr. Carter. You are one lucky man." He said.

"I won't be long." He said once he realized my presence. "There's just one thing I realized that we didn't check during our assessment earlier." Lance nodded, acknowledging what the doctor said.

"I need you to let me know if you feel anything, okay?" He said. I watched as he used the non-sharp edge of a scalpel, at least that's what it looked like to me, to stroke the soles of Lance's feet. He just stared at the doctor. I watched as he applied more pressure, still there was no change in Lance's demeanor. His lack of response to touch and the concerned look that took up residence on the doctor's face let me know that he hadn't escaped the other misfortune, paralysis.