Freedom To Love

Chapter 24

The ride to my house was uncomfortable. My sorrow subsided somewhat as my loud cries were reduced to dry heaves as the water supply in my tear ducts ran low. Occasionally I'd notice Aaron stealing glances at me when he thought I wasn't looking. His earlier look of triumph was replaced by what seemed like sympathy as it dawned on him that I was truly distraught. The look on his face also told me that he wanted to say something but hesitancy was the dominant feeling at that point. 

My mother seemed to have estimated our arrival as the front door swung open even before Aaron pulled up to the driveway and parked the car. She just stood there waiting, with a cheesy grin plastered on her face. To a stranger it would've seemed like she was just elated to see her daughter, but I knew better. I was able to see beyond the facade. Deviousness hid behind her smile, testament of her happiness that she was once again able to manipulate me into doing whatever she wanted. 

I sighed as I exited the vehicle. Each step I took towards the house my once sadness was replaced with growing anger. I was mad at her for never being the understanding mother that my sisters and I needed. I was mad at her for having so much power over me and most importantly, I was mad at myself for being a pawn in what seemed like a game to her. I desperately needed to fight back, but how could I? Long as I did what she wanted my tuition remained paid, and as for Lance I knew she had enough influence within the judicial system to have him charged with something he didn't do and make it stick.

I know it was wrong of me to cut him off with no explanation but what could I say? He has a big heart and probably would've grinded harder to help me, ultimately falling into my mother's threat to get him behind bars. As as much as it hurt me to have him think that the reason I left him was to be with Aaron, I valued his freedom and safety more than my own happiness. Perhaps that's my problem, valuing others above myself.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by my mother's theatricals. In another life she would've been the perfect actress because as of now she damn sure deserved an oscar.

"Hello honey. I missed you so much sweetheart." She said as she dramatically pulled me in for a hug. I rolled my eyes hard thinking this woman couldn't be serious.

Once she released me, she acknowledged Aaron who just stood there stuck on stupid, staring at nothing in particular.

"Thank you so much for picking her up on such short notice. I had to meet with one of my clients urgently." I could tell the latter part of her statement was really meant for me but I knew my mother well. She intentionally sent Aaron to get me, hoping that would produce the outcome she wanted; that Lance and I would truly be over. 

Tears welled up in my eyes and threatened to fall as his handsome face invaded my mind. However, his usually alluring eyes were clouded by venom as his final words pierced my heart a second time. Without a shadow of a doubt I knew that our chapter was closed with little chance of reopening.

I was once again jolted from my inner sanctuary by my mother's voice. We were now inside lounging in the living room.

"So A'mia will you be riding with Aaron back to school on Sunday?" I knew her question was really a command. 

Aaron attended Bronswell State University which was about an hour and a half away from where I attended school. We usually rode together but that was in another time when I was actually happy.

I shrugged in response to my mother's question but quickly spoke up as her glare let me know that she wasn't satisfied.

"I guess we can ride together, if he doesn't mind." 

She softened her expression and shifted her gaze towards Aaron. He wasted no time responding.

"I.... I'd be happy to take her Ms. Jones." He said stuttering somewhat. He too was a pawn in her scheme. Her need for us to be together went beyond her liking him. In fact that had little to do with it. His father was judge and once my mother found that out she pushed even harder for us to be together. He too liked me for his son, but he appreciated my mother's legal prowess even more. It was no surprise when there was speculation that the two had been in cahoots with each other.

*********************

I swore it was Sunday as soon as I closed my eyes. Once Aaron left yesterday and I was no longer forced to remain in my mother's presence I spent most of my time packing my stuff. I was discreetly excited to head back to school. At least my mother wouldn't be there hovering over my shoulders nor would I have to feign happiness. There I could be plain old A'mia.

Aaron came to pick me up 11:00a.m since I informed him that I'd need to swing by Ayisha's place to collect the rest of my stuff and say goodbye to her and Avery. The tension in the car was a lot less than yesterday when Aaron came to pick me up from Lance's house. He still hadn't said anything to me though, which I found strange as he always had something slick to say. I didn't care, I needed to be left alone with my thoughts anyway which always seemed to drift to Lance. I thought about calling him several times but I knew better.

About twenty minutes after starting our journey we were pulling up to Ayisha's apartment. I quickly got out while Aaron remained in the car since I wasn't going to be long.

Upon entering the apartment I was greeted by Avery who wasted no time telling me how excited she was that her mommy was letting her help with the cooking. I greeted my sister who was busy multitasking and then went to grab my suitcase from the room I was staying in. As we prepared to exchanged our goodbyes so I could be on my way Avery thought it was best to hit me with a question I usually knew the answer too.

"Aunty Mia where's LC?" She probed innocently.

"Yeah where is he? Why didn't he come in? I thought he's your ride." Ayisha chimed in. I hadn't told her what happened between Lance and I. She had grown to like him almost as much as Avery and I knew she'd be even more annoyed if she found out that I'd broken up with him after giving in to our mother.

I swallowed hard before the lie escaped my lips. "Something came up last minute so I asked Aaron to take me." I said, looking neither of them in the eyes.

Avery seemed disappointed but my sister appeared to know better as skepticism was etched all over her face. I prayed that she wouldn't press the issue and much to my surprise she didn't. We just exchanged goodbyes and, Aaron and I were back on the road once again. I guess the silence was killing him as he broke it and we engaged in light chatter along the way. As much as I wanted to be upset with him I couldn't. I still had love for him and it really wasn't his fault that Lance and I didn't end well. 

There was a time when Aaron and I were truly in love, when we were oblivious to our parents' desires. We only saw each other, our happiness was our priority. That was before he switched up on me about a year ago, I had no idea if the change was influenced by my mother or that's who he really was all along. My thoughts were interrupted as our conversation took a more serious turn.

"Mia, I'm sorry about what I said yesterday. I was out of line. Actually, I'm sorry for everything, for how things have been between us lately. I miss us, I miss how we used to be." He relayed sincerely.

I swallowed the thick lump residing in my throat. This was the apology I wanted from him months ago. I had to choose my words wisely.

"You changed on me Aaron. It's like one day a switch just went off inside of you. All of a sudden everything about my entire being was a problem, you nitpicked at everything."

He sighed,"You were changing too. Looking back I guess you were just evolving into a better version of you. You became more confident, passionate, beautiful and everything else. I guess I just didn't know how to handle all of that so I did the only thing I knew how to do. Treat you the way my dad treats my mom."

I wasn't sure how to respond. Just like me, he never really opened up about his family.

"It's okay." I said placing my hand on his leg, "I forgive you."

His face lit up like I had just agreed to marry him.

"Thank you so much! I promise if you give us a second chance I'll do better. What do you say?" He asked while pulling up to a stoplight. His eyes now pierced a hole through me.

I dreaded answering his question. As much as I had forgiven him and wanted to give him a chance my heart ached for Lance. However, there was nothing or no one who'd be able to convince me that he and I would reconcile. Desperate to stop myself from pining away over Lance, I found the courage to respond to Aaron.

"I'll give us another chance."