Don't Say Anything

19. Trust Me

"No," I say hesitantly. "But what are we doing in-"

"New rule!" he interrupts. "Don't say anything until I say you're allowed to. You're driving me crazy women." I surprise both him and myself when I shut my mouth. "Good. Now, trust me and there won't be a problem."

He's really starting to freak me out. He comes to abandoned amusement parks in his free time? And I'm supposed to appreciate this? I do have a feeling that I'm the first person he's brought here, which makes my stomach flutter. But still, there's nothing here but broken rides and cobwebs.

We walk through the park for a few minutes before Will stops.

"Here we are." We're standing right in front of a roller coaster. The thing looks at least 200 feet tall and the feeling in my limbs disappears.

"W-We, We're, you-"

"Shhh," I can see his breath and for the first time and I realize how cold it is outside. It hasn't snowed this year yet, but I'm sure it's cold enough to right now. All Will is wearing is a sweater, which he looks absolutely perfect in, but he's got to be freezing. I'm wearing my winter jacket and I'm still cold.

"We're not going to ride it. We're just going to climb it."

"You said this wasn't going to be life threatening!" I say looking up at the massive ride.

"You said you were going to trust me." I knew I shouldn't have agreed to that. If I were to fall off the top, I would die. There's no doubt about it. I would die.

"There's a railing and stairs on the right side and the top flattens out a little bit for us to sit. I'll go first. You can follow right behind me." What am I doing? I'm basically putting my life in someone's hands who I've only known for less than four months. And for what purpose? I'm still trying to figure that one out. I can not believe I'm going along with this. 

Will must sense how nervous I am because he lets me ask questions the whole way up as I hold onto his sweater for dear life.

"How many times have you done this?"

"Over twenty."

"What if I fall?"

"Then you'll die, but I won't let you fall. That would mean I would have to fall too, and I don't plan on dying today."

That's not entirely reassuring.

"Are you sure this is safe?"

"Not really, but it's been fine so far."

He's not very good at the whole 'comforting' thing.

"Are we almost there?"

"A few more steps." I refuse to look anywhere but his back. I don't know how I will react if I look down. The wind seems to be twice as strong up here. That adds about a hundred more death scenarios to the list of the roller coaster or me falling over.

As soon as Will stops walking, I shut my eyes. It's just instinct. I also want to curl up in a ball, but I can't do that with letting go of the rail and Will.

"Okay, I need you to let go of me," Will says like it's no big deal.

"You'll fall!" What if he did fall? Would I be responsible for his death? Oh my gosh I'm going to be a murderer.

"What did I tell you earlier?" I think my hand is frozen onto Will's sweater. That's a good excuse not to let go.

"Ummm.." I really can't think straight up here and I have to rattle my brain for an answer. "Oh! I'm not supposed to say anything am I?"

"No the other one."

"I'm suppose to trust you," I say with a sigh.

"Exactly. So on the count of three let go of me." How does he do this for fun?

"One," This isn't fun. This is like a minor degree of torture.

"Two," Or abuse, I can't decide.

"Three!" I let go of his shirt and wait for the sound of his body against the floor 200 feet down.

"Jess," I let out a breath. "You can open your eyes." Nope, I'm still not secure.

"I need to sit down first." He reaches out his hand and guides me up one more step before telling me to sit. I still have a death grip on the railing to my right and Will's hand to my left. But as soon as I open my eyes, any fear goes away. All I can see is sky, for miles and miles. The moon seems close enough to reach out and grab it and it's surrounded by stars in every direction as far as my eyes can see. It doesn't look real. I feel like I'm going to float away into space and it wouldn't even bother me.

"Jess, you okay?" I must have been zoning out.

"It's beautiful," I say, unable to take my eyes off God's masterpiece in front of me.  It reminds me of a planetarium that we went on a field trip to in elementary school, only the actual stars twinkle and the actual wind blows.

"Yeah, you are." I look over at him and he immediately corrects himself. "I mean it is. They sky. Yeah, the stars are really beautiful." My heart already felt like it was going a thousand times a minute and now it's going a million.

"Thank you," I say looking back at the stars.

"No need to thank me. They're not my stars."  

"I mean for everything," he looks over at me and I once again can't remove my eyes from his. "For trusting me, and being kind to me, and confiding in me, and for being my friend, even though you mean more to me than just that." I don't know where this sudden boost of confidence is coming from. Maybe it's because I've been dying to tell him that for so long and climbing a roller coaster makes me feel like I can do anything. 

"I really like you Jess." I suddenly don't care where I am or how dangerous it is. I let go of the railing and bring my hand to the back of Will's neck. He takes his hand that was previously holding mine and runs it down the side of my face. His fingers are cold, but they still create a heat that runs through my whole body. Our faces are only inches apart and I can hardly stand it.

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into," he whispers against my skin.

"And I don't care." In this very moment, I don't care about anything. I don't care about who he was or who he plans to be. I don't care about any secrets he's keeping or anything that might happen after this. All I care about is him. Right now.

"You don't know what you want," he brushes his lips over mine and I tighten my grip on his hair. There is no way I can go back now. I'm completely and totally captivated by him. 

"I want you to kiss me." And with that, he brings both of his hands to my face and crashes his lips against mine. 

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I quite enjoyed writing this one ;)

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