𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 | 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐲 ✔️

5. If only

Jack

I wait for Zach to leave his room, a nervous wreck. Finally, he leaves and goes downstairs. I hold my breath as I creep over to his room. Hesitantly, I put my hand on his door knob and slowly open his door a crack. I flinch as it creaks, hoping no-one heard. After silently waiting a moment for confirmation, I hear nothing. No one noticed. The cost is clear.

I let out a sigh of relief as I push the door open and briskly enter, my heart racing with panic. I look for my notebook, hoping he hasn't seen anything in it. Finally, I find it under the bed. Well, thank god for that, he seems not to have seen it.

I pick it up and clutch it to my heart, my breathing slowing as the panic rising in me finally stops and allows me to relax. Everything was fine, it was all good. I went to leave but saw a note on his desk. I know it wasn't my business but I couldn't suppress the curiosity it arose within me. Without thinking of what I was doing, I picked it up and started to read it;

I love you. I love you so, so much. Your smile is the brightest light, your eyes the deepest, most enticing stare. When I feel your eyes on me, my heart skips a beat. You make me so jittery, I can't help but let my heart flutter every time I think of you. All I want to do is run my fingers through you-"

I put the note down. It felt as if my heart had just shattered into a million pieces. I noticed the paper was wet and realised I was crying. I never cried. Well, with an exception... I cried for Zach.

I collapsed on to his bed and sobbed. The note was for Madelaine. It was for stupid, stupid Madelaine. I grabbed my notebook and ripped all the pages out while in tears. I was stupid for thinking Zach could ever love me. I was worthless. I meant nothing to him. Nothing.

Intertwined feelings of anger and frustration began to consume my rationality. I aggressively punched his pillow before grabbing it and screaming in to it, pouring out all of my pain. My throat was raw and my anger slowly diminished into a worse feeling - one of sadness. I felt myself breaking down crying again. Grabbing all the torn out pages of my notebook, I got myself together and left his room with a newfound sense of gloom hanging over my head.

Jack left, not noticing the ripped out sheet of paper he had left behind in Zach's room, hidden where his notebook had been only moments before..