Chapter 38

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BELLAMY TRIED TO CONVINCE ME TO STAY at camp, but there wasn't anything he could say that would make me change my mind about going

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BELLAMY TRIED TO CONVINCE ME TO STAY at camp, but there wasn't anything he could say that would make me change my mind about going.

I needed to see the wreckage.

I needed to find my family's remains and give them a proper burial.

The crash sight was more overwhelming than I could have imagined. There were charred bodies everywhere, unrecognizable in the ash and scraps of metal from the ship. What I hadn't expected when I stepped foot at the crash sight was to be hit with harsh realization that both my parents had died in this horrific way. Just gone.

I make a point to look carefully through the remains, as nauseating as it was, and looking for any sign that one of the skeletons was my father or grandmother. Like my father's wedding band or grandmother's arbor necklace.

"Katherine," Bellamy says softly, coming to stand beside me. He studies me carefully. "If this too much I can go back to camp with you."

"I'm fine." I swallow hard against the lump forming in my throat. I stand up from the burnt skeleton I was knelt next to. Not them. It was a conscious effort not to empty my stomach contents onto the ground.

I peer up at him, giving him the tiniest nod in reassurance. Bellamy doesn't look at all convinced by my response but doesn't pressure me. I turn wordlessly, feeling him stay close by and continue to scan the ground myself.

"Stay sharp. Grounder retaliation for what happened on the bridge is coming, just a matter of when." Bellamy announces to the crowd.

"Can you blame them?" Finn shoots back darkly.

I close my eyes and inhale through my nostrils the smell of death and rocket fuel. Really? I may agree with Finn that they had fucked things up for us but right now was not the time to have this argument again.

"No. I blame you." Bellamy answers, his voice sharp.

"Maybe if you didn't bring guns--"

Raven sighs loudly. "If we didn't bring guns, we all would've been killed."

"Fuck! It doesn't matter anymore!" I shout, turning around to face them all with my hands balled so tightly into fists by my side that my knuckles turn white. My outburst makes everyone stop their bickering immediately and look at me. "What is done is done. There's nothing we can do now but prepare to fight. This conversation is fucking pointless. Can we just respect our dead and not do this here?"

Bellamy looks at me with a wistful expression. "She's right. Why they're coming doesn't matter anymore. It's our job to be ready when they do. We're on our own now."

We were too distracted by our bickering to notice that Clarke was reaching forward to touch some pink liquid dripping from a blown piece of metal.

Raven notices and immediately rushes forward in alarm. "Clarke, stop!"

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