Road Rage K'eon Story

Chaper 35- My state of mind

*K'eon*

I woke up in a white room, everything was white and still, I felt as if I was finally at peace with myself, after the years of pain and regret I felt as if everything had came to a final conclusion. I had spent my whole life trying to make myself into this perfect character by which I thought I would impress people with, I've spent my whole life trying to be "the perfect boy" or what I thought was perfect.

I had fucked up so many peoples life and I have done some stuff being ignorant to the idea that it would come back to haunt me like a ghost.

I've always been fake, and pretended to be someone I'm not, I'm a prick, and I guess you could say I'm stupid. I've mad so many bad decisions in my life, which have came to this final conclusion I know I've been up and down in my personality and I don't know where I've gone wrong.

I've made my mum ashamed to call me her son, my name means God is gracious, and I've been ignoring God and failing to recognize is presence.

I've been so harsh on females I've been disrespectful treated them as shit, as all boys do. I miss when I was younger and didn't have to deal with the peer pressure and my "reputation" I think that I'm a man , I don't have any qualification, my son is going to have to grow up to know what I prick he has for a dad, and it makes me sick in the stomach to think that my son was some kind of game to me, I haven't treated him right nor have I treated his mum right. She is the love of my life and I've treated her so wrong, she's grown my seed and I've disrespected her.

Sometimes I think to myself that I need to get away from it all, I was so careless with my chooses, God had given me a good life and I've just messed it all up because of "pride", which I thought I had now I've lost it all. All my friends I think I have now aren't gonna help me.

Everything I tried to become has turned me into a fake and has got me into a sticky situation it was all a dream.

sorry bout mistakes