Heartbreak Hotline [ON GOING]

Chapter XXII - Living in a lie

"What? You're gonna act like a superhero again?" I said and smirked. Nakakatawa na nagawa ko pang ngumisi at magpanggap na malakas. Ang galing ko talaga sa larong pagpapanggap.

"Ikaw na naman ba ang may kasalanan nito? Ano bang ginawa sa'yo ni Brianna? Bakit ang tindi ng galit mo sakanya!?" Nagulat ako ng halos isigaw na n'ya ang huling pangungusap na sinabi n'ya. He's really mad.

I was speechless. I was shattered from the inside but I have to act strong. So I smirked and said, "I only have four words for you. She. Doesn't. Love. You." Pang-aasar ko.

That made him speechless and it instantly broke my heart. Ang ineexpect ko ay sasabihin n'ya na hindi n'ya mahal si Brynn. Pero hindi s'ya nagdeny. Which means.... totoo.

Ilang segundo ng katahimikan ang nakalipas nang biglang dumaan si Axl at nagmamadaling pumasok sa room ni Brianna.

Lucky Brynn. Dala-dalawang lalaki ang patay na patay sakanya. Meanwhile, I have none. Sure, maraming nagkakagusto sakin. Pero yun na yun. Gusto lang. They like me because I'm pretty. But they don't love me.

Tumayo ako at binuksan ang pinto ng room ni Brynn para tignan sila ni Axl. Hindi nila namalayan na binuksan ko ang pinto. Brynn looks so happy to see Axl. They look so... sweet. As if they're still a couple. As if they never broke up.

Napatingin ako sa likod ko. Nakatingin rin pala si Caleb sakanila. Hinawakan ko ang kaliwang pisngi n'ya at ngumiti. Ineexpect ko na tatanggalin n'ya ang kamay ko pero hindi n'ya ginawa 'yon.

I hugged him. I've been wanting to do it for a long time. "I know it sucks." Sambit ko nang bumitiw na ako sa pagkakayakap.

"What does?" Tanong naman n'ya habang nakakunot ang noo. Halata din sa mukha n'ya na nasasaktan s'ya.

"Loving someone and watching them choose someone else. I know it hurts. Especially if that  someone is your bestfriend." Sambit ko at ngumisi, "I can take that pain away, Caleb." Dagdag ko pa at ngumiti.

"Stop. No one can take my pain away. Especially not you." Aniya at tinalikuran ako.

Aalis na sana s'ya para umalis ngunit pinigilan ko s'ya, "You're right. Maybe I can't take your pain away. But that doesn't mean I can't help you lessen it."

I seem to catch his attention dahil napalingon na naman s'ya sakin.

"What are you talking about?" Tanong n'ya habang nakakunot ang noo.

"Kaya kitang tulungan para ma-realize ni Brianna ang halaga mo. Lahat ginagawa mo para sakanya. You always fight for her yet si Axl parin ang nasa puso n'ya. Si Axl na ni isang beses hindi s'ya nagawang ipaglaban. You gave her everything you have. She may not always see it but I did. That's why I know you love her. Too bad she doesn't feel the same way." I said and made a sad face.

"Tumigil ka na, Regina. H-hindi ko mahal si Brianna." Nauutal na sagot n'ya.

Natawa naman ako at sumagot, "Then why are you stuttering? Don't lie to yourself, Caleb. Take it from me. I did it once and I regretted it." Napayuko ako. Naalala ko nanaman ang pakikipagbreak ko sakanya. "Kaya kong tulungan si Brianna para marealize n'ya na ikaw ang lalaking para sakanya."

"How?" Tanong n'ya.

"We'll make her jealous." I said and smiled. This is gonna be perfect.

"Ano!? Nababaliw ka na ba? Tumigil ka na nga Regina." Aniya. Sus. Choosy pa.

"I know you're thinking about it. Trust me. It will work. We'll tell everyone that we're dating again and once Brynn gets jealous, she'll realize that you're a diamond." I said and smiled again. Sana pumayag s'ya. Beneficial rin ito para sa'kin. Malay mo matuluyan s'yang magkagusto sa'kin ulit.

"You're out of your mind." He said and left me standing alone.

Great. Pinahiya ko lang ang sarili ko.

God, Caleb. Why do I love you so much?

Ang hirap ng sitwasyon ko. Ang hirpa maging sikat.

Everyone knows me as the 'mean girl'. Lahat sila ang alam ay malakas ako at walang kahinaan. I should be the one that makes people cry. Ako dapat ang nagpapaiyak hindi yung ako yung umiiyak. Ako dapat ang nanloloko hindi yung ako ang sinasaktan. This is so wrong. I'm a human too.

But I chose this. Pinili kong maging ganito ang tingin nila saakin. Kailangan ko 'tong panindigan. Kailangan kong ngumiti at magpanggap na malakas kahit ang totoo ay durog-durog na ang puso ko at hirap na hirap na ako. Kailangan kong magpanggap. Sanay na naman ako eh kaya alam kong kaya ko 'to. I've been living in a lie since day 1. My whole life is a lie.

No one knew my story yet everyone judges me. No one knew how I became like this nor the problems I'm facing.

I'm so sick and tired of this life. I just... I just want to close my eyes and never open them again.

End of Chaptee XXII...