Bruises (Chapter 23)

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Casey's POV

With the eyes burning on me I knew I had to get out of here. I could see it in their faces. I was scaring them. They never witnessed half the walkers we have, so this must be mortifying for them. But if they wanted us here they needed to get used to this, to me. The real me.

"Casey." Carl finally said over the silence making everyone look at him.

"No." I shook my head turning around and running away.

There was a crack of thunder in the sky as I ran. I didn't know where I was going, but I was going somewhere. Even when the rain poured down I still ran. The whole world felt to be spinning, how big was this place? Wait. I'm running in circles. I passed the gates three times now. I just need to stop. But you can't stop.

"Casey!" Stop. Keep going. Stop!

I stopped taking deep breaths before turning around. Carl stood there drenched in rain. His eyes were worried, he wasn't scared. His hair was stuck to his face, his shirt stuck to his body. But he didn't care about getting wet, he cared about me.

"Carl." I breathed out as he wrapped his arms around me.

I felt my anger slip away and everything went back to normal. I mumbled apologies but he just shushed me kissing my head. I held onto him tightly and nothing else mattered. It was silent besides the rain hitting the ground. I don't know how long we stayed there like that. I just knew it was right. It felt right.

He just shushed me pushing the hair out of my face. He stared down at me. His blue eyes so familiar. Why are they so familiar? Even from the beginning. It's always been his eyes. I've always loved his eyes.

"Let's go home." He whispered. Home. No. That house isn't our home. This right here is home.

I stared in the mirror wiping off the makeup. The rain made it look like my face had melted off. The makeup smeared everywhere. Carl was in our room changing out of the wet clothes. I already gratefully changed into a t shirt and leggings that they gave us. I washed my face and dried my hair before going back into our room.

When I got back in I stopped at the doorway seeing Carl put his shirt on. I gasped a little looking at his back. There were bruises all over his back. Hand print bruises that I caused. Was I hurting him?

"Carl?" He turned around and smiled, but it fell as he saw me frown.

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not okay. Carl, did I do that?" I pointed to his back and he looked down avoiding my eyes.

"I know the dangers of loving you."

"Carl! This isn't okay! I'm hurting you."

He took a step forward making me step back. I wasn't getting closer to him. I'm not going to hurt him again. Just by being here I'm hurting him. Just by living I'm hurting everyone. He came closer making me freeze as he touched my shoulder. I didn't move, I could touch him back because I knew I would hurt him.

"Casey." He whispered placing his other hand in my other shoulder.

I closed my eyes as he pulled me closer. I knew he was giving those eyes. The ones I couldn't stand because they were just so beautiful. I couldn't do this. I opened my eyes and sighed staring into his blue eyes.

"I love you, no matter what." I raised my hands and gently placed them on his face.

He leaned down and I closed my eyes letting his lips fall on mine. I tried to be as gentle as I could. So many things went through my head. Would I hurt him? What if I killed him? Why is this happening? Why does he love me? Why am I still alive?

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