Breathing Brown

Twenty

Listen to: Please Don't Go - Joel Adams
While reading this chapter
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"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ella says as her eyes focus on the road. That question raced through my head as we drove down the stretched highway.

Of course I want to do this.

"I need to see him. I need an explanation." I bite my lower lip as we pull onto Ashton's driveway. Ella faces me with a remorseful expression.

"If you need a ride home then just text me, okay?" She grabs my hand gently and I smile and nod while stepping out of her car.

"I'll see you later." I wave and close the door. I wait till Ella pulls off before I take cautious steps up to Ashton's front door. I knock a few times and a young lady with dark brown hair that falls into loose curls answers the door.

"Hello!" She says a little too cheerfully.

"Hey, is Ashton here? I'm a friend of his." I try to cut right to the point. Her expression softens before she answers.

"Yes, come in." She widens the door so I can step in. "He's in the backyard. The back door is just straight across." She point somewhere towards the other side of the house. I walk slowly down a long hallway and a set of big glass doors leading to the backyard come into view. I look through the window before walking out. Ashton was shirtless and glistening in sweat. Tears soaked his cheeks.

What is wrong with him?

I swing the door open and take a few steps out, I'm only a foot or two behind him and I can see him more clearly now. His back muscles tense up as he feels my presence.

"Ashton." I place a hand on his shoulder and turn him to face me. His face flushed pink and he tries to subtly wipe all the tears off his damn cheeks. His sharp brown eyes look into mine intensely.

"Ashton, hey." I cup my hands around his face. "Calm down." He embraces me into a hug and then pushes me away.

"What's wrong?" I ask, eyeing him carefully.He bites his lower lip and holds his gaze.

"Ashton?" I grab onto his wrist gently.

"Let's take a seat." He says and turns to a set of outside chairs. I sit next to him and try to steady my racing heart. I hate seeing him like this. In fact, I've never seen him like this. I never want to see him like this. I watch his brown eyes trace down to my neck and he gently places his fingers against a freshly formed bruise planted right on the crook of my neck.

"Does it hurt?" He winces as he removes his fingers.

"Not really." I lied, it hurts a lot. His tense expression loosens a bit and I feel a little weight lift off my chest. As much as I'm happy to be here with Ashton, I needed answers. I need to know who the hell that was and what he meant when he said Ashton gets everything he wants.

"Ashton, I don't usually push you to tell me anything you don't want too," I pause and suck in a breath, "but who was that guy?"

"Oh." Ashton runs a hand through his hair nervously as he looks up at the sky for answers. "It's a long and complicated story."

"I've got all the time in the world." I say and lean forward and lock my eyes into his.

"So," He begins "a year ago, I met this girl named Jessica. Now, I only saw Jessica as another girl to dick down. I know it's sick to use girls like that, but I was stupid." He slides his tongue over his bottom lip.

"But she was obsessed with me. An unhealthy obsession. She thought I was meant for her, even. So I took her precious virginity and then added her to the list of girls that I've had sex with. And then that was that, I forgot about her soon after." He shakes his head as he recalls the memories.