Under the autumn sky (✔️)

Break on me (6)

"What are you talking about?" I said harshly. I stood up and walked away from her. My mind was processing this new found information. Was she hoping to make me stay? Was this some sort of a joke?

After what Blake stated earlier and how he treated me tonight I was sure he didn't have any type of feelings towards me, except for hating me that is. If I fulfill this promise to her, I knew would only be a burden to him. And what about Camille?

She was silent. She knew her words made a substantial significance in the situation. She smiled a few times before she let her voice bring me back from my thoughts.

"As I said, I need to explain a lot, " she stood up. I felt her weak touch when we hugged at our previous encounter. Now that I was fully conscious of her illness, I perceived her in a different light, she was like a fragile doll.

"What about Camille?" I profusely ignored her attempts to somehow calm me down. I didn't want her to explain anything to me. I wanted her to be fine.

I wanted everything to go back like it had been years before, back to when we were younger, healthy, happy. When Ryan was sweet and generous in comparison to the way he is acting now. I wished Blake wouldn't look at me like I was the person he hated the most. I wish I could go back in time.

"Liv, you need to calm down. I know it is hard to understand, but I'm too tired to explain now, " she remarked rubbing her eyes as she stood up and walked towards the dull yellow door. As always, her delicate steps didn't make a sound.

"So you throw this bomb at me without a single warning and then you are asking me to wait for explanations? That is cruel, Miranda" I asked puzzled.

"Please Liv..." she begged, letting out a small breath. "I will explain soon, but please be patient with Blake."

I didn't say anything. I felt the heat on my cheeks as I rushed in front of the tired girl and opened the door, running almost outside. My body never stopped until I reached the front porch and I could take a breath of the fresh air. I avoided these type of situations, the type that left you feeling like you got stomped by a elephant. I laid my body against the wall as I touched my chest over and over, slowing my heart rate. I tried to make sense of all this, I came up with nothing.

I came back to Colorado to rest from the media, to run away from Ryan and most of all to find a way to feel truly happy again. I wanted to find sensible and practical reasons to stay but this was not what I was expecting.

A few minutes passed by when I heard the door of the front porch open with a creak whilst Blake came out. I disregarded him. I took a deep breath and inhaled waiting for the break of this uncomfortable silence, despite me not wanting to talk to him right now. He walked to my side and tried to comfort me. I looked at him and his green eyes were looking through me, his usual sparkle were long gone from his eyes. The intensity of his gaze transported me to somewhere foreign, a land of brooding until his voice pulled me back.

"She told you." he said.
It was more of a fact than a question.

My lips couldn't move to pronounce any words. I gently nodded as I hovered towards the porch fence. I always thought Colorado would always be here. That every person and place would last forever. That was the main reason why I chose it to hide out. I was certain I would mend the wounds I had inflicted everywhere on the people I care about, while going through my soul searching journey.

His voice startled me but what he was saying even startled me more."Liv, you're shaking... Let's take you home"

His condescending tone hid the pity he felt for me at that moment while I was having a silent panic attack.