Losing Control

Losing Control Isn't Always Fun 21

As I walked away from him, tears burst from my eyes. I couldn't handle the pain that was exploding from my chest.

But it was worth it if he could move on. He shouldn't waste his life settling for me. He should strive for his level.

I didn't deserve him, especially after I broke his heart.

I got into my truck and drove back to the apartment.

I was disgusted with myself. I couldn't look at myself in the car mirror. Tears were continuing to build up and pour over the brink of my eyes faster than I could count. I couldn't believe that I did that to him.

I felt like my heart was breaking into a million tiny pieces as I parked in the usual spot and headed inside.

"Mom?" I called out, half worried that she'd be gone.

"What?" a shaky voice came from the couch.

I noticed Max's door was open. The haunting crack, echoing the hard memory of the doctor's office informing me of how long he had left. I tugged the doorknob and the door creaked shut.

I walked into the kitchen and started wiping the counters before my chest started to erupt with sobs. I dropped the dishtowel and crouched down, trying to hold myself together. A loud cry came out, and it kept coming.

Dominic was the only one who had always been there for me. He was my first kiss, my first love, and the first person who didn't look at me with pity when he saw my real life.

And I couldn't be with him. I loved him, but I couldn't even look at him without thinking about Max.

The pain was unbearable.

I looked at the clock on the mircrowave, remembering that I had school. I wiped my eyes and stood up with shaky legs. I nearly collapsed.

I walked back outside and got into my car, ignoring the fact that tears were still pouring out of my eyes.

I gunned the engine and started towards school.

My phone started ringing, and I dug it out of my bag, putting it to my ear.

"Yeah?" I asked, my voice rough.

"You're weren't at school," Kyle said, sounding concerned. "I was worried."

"I'm heading over," I said.

"Okay," he said.

I hung up without another word and took a deep breath. And another. And another.

Dominic's face kept coming into my mind, making me have to start all over again.

I couldn't take the pain. I couldn't handle it.

I parked in the school parking lot, wanting to run the other direction wheni got tho my first period. I wiped my eyes and took one last deep breath, walking inside.

"How nice of you to join us," Mr. Parks.

I kept my head down and away as I sat down in my seat, hyperly aware of Dominic's presence by my side. I slid my chair as far away from him as the desk would allow.

"Now get started. Dominic, I'm sure you'll fill Riannan in on the lab that we'll be working on today," Mr. Parks said before slipping behind his desk.

I wanted to beg and plead for him to just make it a note taking day, though I hated notes with a deep fiery passion.

"Just follow the instructions on the sheet," Dominic spoke, his voice husky as if from masked pain or aggravation.

Or both.