roses [jungkook]

35. little star

I went back to the lake, because I still couldn't fall asleep. We just had a campfire before and I hated how the smoke lingered in my clothes.

I stared out at the water. Should I throw myself in there?

I slightly chuckled to myself. I sipped my drink and noticed I was alone this time. Jungkook wasn't here. What was the deal with him? He wanted me to shoot him and even sacrificed himself for me.

He had a new girl though. Was it actually Mijin?

I sighed and laid backwards on the grass, closing my eyes. I sang Little Star inside my head whilst I tried to fall asleep. I'd rather sleep out here than in the cabin to be honest.

"I'm about to graduate soon and I think that'll be the best idea," I heard Jungkook say. My eyes shot open and I swift my head towards him. He was on the phone whilst he walked close to the lake.

"Isn't that better than committing suicide? To be honest, I have been thinking about it again after breaking it off with her, but after I thought about all the things we did together... I don't want to anymore," he said. "She really opened my eyes and I thought, why take your own life just because of someone? You have a life to live so might as well live it well right?"

"Uh, well for me, living well is moving away so I don't cause problems for the people I love," he said and I looked up at the stars.

He's moving away?

"Hoseok," he sighed. "I did the right thing didn't I? Letting her go was the right thing right?"

My heart felt heavy, a lump in my throat. Was he talking about me?

"Yeah. I'll be seeing you after graduation then," he said. "Bye,"

I shut my eyes to pretend I was asleep in case he noticed me. I couldn't run away now, he'd know right away I was listening.

"Aera?" I heard him say. "Are you sleeping?"

I felt him move over to my side. It was silent for a moment when I felt him laying down beside me.

"The stars are out," he mumbled when all of a sudden he started humming. Before I realised it, he began singing Little Star.

How ironic. I was just singing that to myself.

I bit the insides of my cheek before turning to my side whilst I continued to fake sleep. It was one of my favorite songs, a song Taehyung showed me, a song so beautiful—he knows it too?

His voice was beautiful though. I couldn't lie about that. It was such a delinquent refreshing sound, it could definitely sleep in peace hearing that.

After he finished singing, I felt him sit up when his hand touched the side of my face. I suddenly felt his lips against the side of my head before getting covered in a jacket.

Did he just kiss my head?

-

The last day of the trip was today—which was the day we could do whatever we wanted. "Let's go to the arcade," I said, tucking my arm around Taehyung's.

"Okay," He said before gesturing for someone to come towards him. I shifted my gaze to whoever it was.

Jeon Jungkook.

"Taehyung," I muttered and he grinned.
"What?" Jungkook asked and I looked away.

"Let's go to the arcade!" Taehyung exclaimed, wrapping his arm around Jungkook's. I stared at them, my eyes widen when Hana and Jinyoung walked towards us.

"Let's go to the arcade," I told them.

When we got there, Taehyung pulled me, along with Jungkook out of the arcade and into a bakery right by it.

"Taehyung," I muttered, glaring at him. He grinned at me and pushed us to a table before running off. What the hell was his deal?

I looked over at Jungkook who sighed before sitting down. I rolled my eyes and sat down across from him.

We sat in awkward silence for awhile. Should I bring up last night? "Jungkook," I said and his eyes shot up at me. I sucked in a breath. "Are you going to stay here? You're not going to the arcade?"

He quickly looked around before looking back at me. "Do you want me to?"

I swallowed, leaning on my palm. "It's your choice," I quietly said.

Although I actually wanted him to stay here with me.

He leaned back and kept his gaze forward. I looked around, biting my bottom lip. "Aera," he said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?" I replied, looking at him.

"I'm sorry," he said, fumbling with his fingers.

I stared at him for awhile. "You're sorry?" I replied, feeling my voice trembling. "Why would you apologize for not liking me the way I like you? You don't have to apologize for feelings you've never felt,"

I watched as he pursed his lips, not making eye contact with me.

"So, do you actually have feelings for Mijin?" I asked, feeling a torn in my heart.

His eyes shot up and he furrowed his brows. "Mijin?"

"Isn't she your new girl?" I asked and he sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"Sure," He said and my heart hurt even more. I sucked in breath, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"That's great," I forced a smile before looking away. I didn't realise how much he actually hurt me until he told me he never liked me.

Because now, it was getting too easy to burst out crying.

-

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